


The Price of Education

by orphan_account



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Slow Burn, and some angst, sweet sweet lady loving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-18 19:30:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5940454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a Carol (2015) AU in which Therese is an Art Major Student at College and Carol is her teacher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Therese and Richard strode hand in hand through campus. Richard chatted about the weather and family and of course, his design project he’d been working on for months. Therese nodded, only half paying attention as her eyes wandered, looking anywhere but at Richard. She had a habit of not listening to him at times.

“Hello, earth to Terry,” he waved a hand in front of her. 

“Hm? Sorry, I was miles away,” she smiled at Richard and he gave her a look of adoration. 

“Hey don’t you have that new art teacher today?” They were outside of Therese’s class. Richard liked to walk her every day. He liked to do a lot of things for her, Therese thought. 

“Hope she’s better than Andrew was,” she rolled her eyes. “I should go.” Students were already dispersing into the classroom. 

“See you tonight,” he kissed her lips, lingering for a moment before kissing her cheek. 

“See ya,” she replied as he left. She sighed before turning to enter the classroom. She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder, quietly finding her seat at the back of the room, where she always sat. For the past two years the art studio had been her home. It was where she went to get away from the world. 

“Hello everyone,” a voice suddenly spoke and the chattering stopped. Therese looked up from her sketchbook. “I’m Carol Aird, your new lecturer. Obviously, you may call me Carol.” Therese’s eyes skimmed over the woman, her blonde hair falling just past her shoulders. She found herself immediately entranced, unable to look away. The way she smiled as she began to speak again made Therese’s heart flutter strangely. 

“As you know, Andrew has been unwell and so I have been recruited to take over his classes.” Carol’s eyes moved over every student before they found Therese’s. To her surprise, Carol did not immediately look away, instead maintaining her gaze with Therese. Therese immediately felt flushed all over, her heart stammering in her chest. After what felt like eternity, a student piped up, asking Carol a question. Carol’s gaze still held hers and Therese didn’t dare look away. Carol absentmindedly began to answer the question that had been given, and then she was gone, beginning the lesson. The class discussed upcoming assessment and what they had already been working on. 

Therese found herself enthralled with this woman who was her new art teacher. She sat with one hand under her chin, watching how she moved as though every step had been perfectly planned and the way she so elegantly brushed her hair off her face. Every time her lips pulled into a smile, Therese felt her stomach flutter. She supposed Carol was the most beautiful being she had even seen. Therese surveyed the room, wondering if anyone else was completely in love with the woman before her. 

“Okay, now you know my name but I don’t know any of you,” Carol’s eyes glanced at Therese for a brief moment and Therese wondered if she had imagined it. “We are going to go around the room and I want you tell me your name and,” she paused, thinking for a moment. “And one truth and one lie.” There was chatter throughout the class. “And I have to guess which is the truth and which is the lie.” Carol pulled in a chair to sit at a table. Therese observed as the class took turns introducing themselves. There was occasional laughter when someone would come up with the most ridiculous truth and lies. Every time Carol laughed, Therese found herself giggling too. 

Then the time came for Therese to speak. Carol looked at her with kind eyes and Therese felt herself melting. “I’m Therese,” she swallowed. “Therese Belivet.”  
“Therese Belivet,” the name rolled off her tongue like honey and Therese was once again lost in her eyes. The class sat expectantly, waiting for Therese to continue. “And your truth and lie?” Carol asked after a long moment. 

Therese was pulled back to reality realising she had forgotten to think of something. Her cheeks flushed as she racked her brain for something to say, anything. She saw Carol looking at her with an amused grin and Therese had to look away. She glanced at the rack of paintbrushes on the wall and thought for a moment, regaining her sanity. 

‘I am in love with you,’ she wanted to say or ‘You are so beautiful I can’t think straight.’ Therese shook her head and finally spoke, closing her eyes. “My eyes are green and I play the guitar.” She kept her eyes closed, a smile playing on her lips. Carol shifted in her seat, observing Therese thoughtfully. Therese felt her gaze on her. 

“Truth, your eyes are green. And you don’t play the guitar,” Carol stated. Therese smiled more brightly and opened her eyes. 

“My eyes are blue and yellow.” She sat back, feeling pleased with herself. “And I do play guitar.”

“My, an artist and a musician,” Carol eyed Therese inquisitively and she suddenly felt self-conscious. 

“Well, I would hardly call myself a musician,” she held Carol’s gaze. “I only play by myself really.”

“I see,” Carol lifted her face and then stood, continuing with the lesson. Therese felt as though she had suddenly been released from Carol and she could finally breathe. For the rest of the remaining hour Therese found herself in a dream, envisioning Carol next to her, looking into her eyes. Therese would find herself being backed into a wall as Carol caught her like a lion hunting its prey. Carol’s red lips would find hers and she would be lost and found all at once, needily gripping the denim overalls she wore. 

Therese was plucked from her daydream when she realised class was over and people were exiting the building. She also realised she hadn’t been paying attention to anything that had been said. She had been too engaged with watching Carol. Watching her lips move, the way her voice flowed over words like honey and melted her insides. 

Therese shoved her sketchbook and pencil case into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder. She had another lecture to get to and didn’t want to be late. The professor was strict and had been known to disallow students to enter if they were late. The course was art history and though she did enjoy learning about it, it wasn’t her main area of interest. She took down notes, sitting at the back of the room as she always did. Their mid semester exam was approaching and Therese did not want to leave her cramming until the last moments. 

Dannie, who always sat beside her on Mondays, nudged her shoulder to capture her attention. He held a piece of paper, on it a crude drawing of Mr. Stevens, their professor. Therese stifled a laugh behind her hand and Dannie began to snicker under his breath. 

“Dannie you dick,” she whispered and glanced at the drawing again with a grin. 

“This is going to be in the Smithsonian; just you wait and see,” he tucked it away in his folder. Therese shook her head but chuckled to herself again. Dannie was a friend of Richard’s but since they had started dating she had become fast friends with him. They had only two classes together but almost every weekend he and Richard would rope her into going to college get-togethers that consisted of loud music, drinking and poker and more drinking. She felt like Dannie understood her more than Richard did at times. They were often found having deep conversations about life while Richard was off socialising and getting wasted. She and Dannie would then have to walk him back to his dorm and put him to bed. It had become almost a ritual over the past year. 

“Bye dude,” Dannie waved to Therese as they parted in opposite directions. Therese only waved back. Therese picked up a bottle of coke and a sandwich from the cafeteria which was already buzzing with people. A woman next to her yelled in her ear, motioning to someone across the café. Therese instinctively covered her ear at the sharp noise. She wasn’t a fan of crowds and was suddenly very keen to escape the crowd of people. 

Therese looked at her shoes as she stepped into the art room, throwing her bag onto the tables with a sigh. When she finally glanced up she realised that she was not alone. 

“Shit!” Therese stopped, looking wide-eyed at the blonde woman sitting at the desk in the corner of the room. “I’m sorry,” she took a breath. “I usually come in here during lunch times. I can go-“ she walked over to collect her bag.

“Oh no! It’s fine don’t be silly,” she waved. “ Therese was it?” Carol sat up a little, eyeing Therese again with the same expression as before in class and she felt Carol could see right into her soul. Her eyes moved over the brunette’s open flannel shirt and black jeans. Underneath she wore a black band shirt. Therese nodded and took her seat at the back of the room. She felt keenly aware of the other presence in the room and Therese found herself stealing glances at Carol. She usually plugged in her headphones to listen to music but today she decided she wouldn’t. What if Carol were to ask her something? She didn’t want to seem like she was ignoring her. Therese then opened her sketchbook and began to scribble across the page.

The drawing began to take shape, forming into a tree. A tree that was dark and lifeless. Its limbs were deformed and on the end of its branches no leaves resided. Except one, Therese decided. 

Carol glanced up to see Therese engrossed in her drawing. She watched the way her face contorted into a frown of concentration as the pencil glided across the page. “How are you going with your project assessment?” Carol finally asked. Therese looked up at Carol before putting down her pencil.

“Alright I guess.” She had been working on a painting. They had to use a minimum of six mediums and so far Therese was stuck on what would be her sixth. “I don’t have it here to show you,” Therese was glad she didn’t. She would be far too shy to show her work to her new teacher for fear of disappointing her. Carol nodded and went back to her work but Therese couldn’t help but watch her now. “How has you first day been?” Therese finally asked. 

Carol smiled before looking at Therese. “Alright I guess,” she echoed Therese’s words. “A little nerve wracking, first days always are,” she swayed in her chair. “Always wondering if the students will love you or hate you.” 

“I don’t think anyone could hate you,” Therese blurted. How could anyone hate an angel? 

“Well,” Carol looked down with a smile. There is a silence before her eyes beheld Therese again. “Have you worked out what you will do after college?” She leaned against at the desk, watching Therese intently. She was truly intrigued, Therese thought. Usually these kinds of questions bored her to death but for Carol, she would answer them all day long if she asked. 

“To be honest I really don’t know.” She felt kind of silly for not having a good answer, an answer that would impress Carol. “I love drawing but I can’t see a career out of that.”

“When I was your age I had no idea I’d end up teaching at a college.” Carol tried to reassure her. “Things happen and well, here we are I suppose.” Carol looked at Therese as she spoke those words, as if they meant something more. 

“How long have you been teaching?” Therese asked, wanting to continue the conversation.

“Oh, five years now? That was before I had Rindy. I’ve only just come back to work last year.” 

“Rindy is your daughter?” Carol nodded. “How old is she?”

“Five in December,” she smiled, thinking of her daughter. 

“It must be hard, being away from her.” 

“At times, yes. I mean I miss her all the time,” Carol suddenly stood to walk towards Therese. She sat at the table opposite to her. Therese quickly closed her sketchbook and Carol eyed her peculiarly. “She has Harge when I’m working.” Carol put her elbow on the table, resting her face in her palm which mimicked Therese’s position. 

“Harge is your husband?” Of course a woman like Carol would be married, or at least taken. She felt a little disappointed, a feeling that made her feel guilty too. Carol sighed and Therese noticed. 

“Ex-husband, thank god.” She smiled. “We share joint custody; it works for both of us.” Carol then sat up in her chair. “But enough of me, you must have someone special.” Carol sat looking directly at Therese as she awaited reply. 

“Well, Richard, my boyfriend.” Her voice was unenthused and Carol sensed her disdain. “I don’t know. He’s a good boyfriend, so people keep telling me.”

“But?”

“But, I feel like I’m supposed to feel that thing that you’re supposed to feel. We’ve been together for a year now.” That thing that I felt for you the moment I saw you, Therese found herself thinking. She looked down at her sketchbook. 

“I see.” There was a silence between them as Therese looked up at Carol, their eyes searching each other. Therese felt the longing in the pit of her stomach return. The moment was interrupted by students leisurely walking into class, disrupting the silence in the air. Therese almost felt annoyed by them until she realised she would be late yet again for her next class. 

Carol cleared her throat as she stood. “See you next week, Therese.”

Therese packed her bag before looking up at Carol who was smiling at her. Therese felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. That smile would be the death of her, she thought as she left the classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Friday night and Therese sat in her dorm room, her headphones plugged in and a sketchbook in her lap. She had spent the majority of the week working on her art project and studying for mid-term exams. Therese found herself in an almost constant daydream that featured her new teacher. She had been writing out notes for her history class when her mind had wandered back to the blonde woman for the hundredth time that evening. She snapped her text book closed with a huff, deciding that studying would be futile now.   
Therese pulled out her sketchbook and stared at the blank page. The memory of Carol in her mind surfaced and she began to draw. 

Therese sat on her bed, her hand flowing over the page. She had been drawing for hours and the image before her was taking form. Therese found drawing as her escape and a method of release from her frustrations. The past week she had certainly been frustrated. If she could capture Carol’s beauty in a drawing, perhaps she would find some relief.   
Therese sat back, observing her work. A new song began to play on her iPod. The lyrics rang in her ear as if they were her own. 

I don’t care if Monday’s blue. Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too. Thursday I don’t care about you, it’s Friday and I’m in love.

Therese smiled and put her sketchbook down. Was she in love with Carol, the woman she had only just met? Therese felt childish and silly and warm inside all at once and she didn’t care. It was her little daydream, even if it was just fantasy. 

Therese was pulled from her reverie when a bang at her door startled her. She flung her headphones off and walked across the room.

“Yo Terry it’s me and Dannie.” A muffled voice spoke. Therese sighed and opened the door to find Richard and Dannie grinning at her excitedly. She looked at them suspiciously. 

“What do you two want,” she asked. Though she knew exactly what they wanted. 

“We’re going over to Mark’s place for s few drinks, you wanna come?” Richard asked. Therese knew ‘a few drinks’ were more like a carton.   
Dannie sensed her disdain. “Come on Therese, it’ll be fun. They’ve got the projector set up and everything.” Therese sighed and strolled back into her room. 

“Oh alright,” she rolled her eyes. Maybe she could finally get Carol off her mind. Dannie was always good company and she could never say no to them when they asked her to go out anyway. She slipped on her leather jacket and then managed to find two socks that had been kicked under her bed. She wouldn’t dare smell them to see if they were fresh. Dannie and Richard chatted while Therese brushed her shoulder length hair and added some eyeliner. 

There was a loud cheer when they arrived at Mark’s place. They were mostly Richard’s friends and Therese felt like a fly on the wall. She stood to one side as they crowded around Richard, thrusting a beer into his hand. Dannie and Therese shared a look before entering the house. It was only a small get together but the blaring music certainly made up for any absence of noise. 

Richard squeezed Therese’s hand as the three of them sat on the couch in the lounge room. She was wedged in between the two boys, observing the people around her. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and Therese was happy to just watch them. She was never the life of the party but she liked it that way. Richard passed her a drink, kissing her on the cheek. 

“So I hear you got a new teacher,” Dannie spoke after a long silence. Apprehension rose in her at Dannie’s question. So much for forgetting about her, Therese thought. 

“Oh yeah,” she tried to brush it off. Knowing Dannie, he would attempt to make conversation. 

“She better than Andrew?” He smiled. Dannie had enjoyed hearing all the horrible stories Therese had told him about her old teacher. 

“I think anyone would be better than Andrew,” Therese rolled her eyes. “But yeah, she’s great.”

Richard abruptly stood. “I’m gonna go have a game of pool with the boys.” He leaned in and kissed Therese on the lips. It was no surprise to Dannie and Therese. Richard usually left them to their own devices, getting bored with their conversations easily. 

“Okay, have fun,” Therese smiled at him, waiting until he left before turning to Dannie. She took a long swig of her drink, thinking for a moment. “I did a drawing of her,” she admitted. 

“Why am I not hearing about this until now?” He looked at her incredulously. 

“It was nothing. She’s just,” she paused. “She’s very beautiful.” She didn’t look at Dannie, taking another sip of her cider. She knew there would be all kinds of questions now but she needed to vent to him. 

“Oh I see. Has Therese Belivet found her muse?” He nudged her with his drink. Therese only shook her head with a smile. 

The conversation continued for hours, drifting to school and then life in general. It was around two in the morning when Richard finally found his way back to Therese. He stumbled onto the couch smelling of beer. He roped his arm around Therese’s waist and kissed her neck. 

“Mmm I love you,” she mumbled against her ear. Therese could tell he was very drunk. 

“Richard,” she sighed, attempting weakly to move from his grasp. She wasn’t a fan of public displays of affection. 

“C’mon Terry.” He kissed along her jaw sloppily until he finally found her lips. His hand slipped down to squeeze her bottom. 

“Richard stop,” Dannie was right next to them and she was sure he was feeling uncomfortable. Richard pulled away and looked at her with pleading eyes. She knew that look. Therese had only had sex with him a few times before as she never really enjoyed it. She often felt like there was something wrong with her. Sometimes she wondered if she stayed with Richard because he loved her. Did she even love him? She didn’t know. 

But now he was giving her that look and Therese felt like doing anything else but have sex with Richard. He stared at her for a long moment before frowning. 

“Prude,” he mumbled under his breath as he stormed off. Therese sat looking at the empty spot that Richard had just occupied. She was somewhat stunned at what she had just heard. Richard had never been rude about this sort of thing before. He was very drunk though, she thought. She clenched her jaw and stood, suddenly wanting to be far away from Mark’s house and far away from Richard. 

“Hey Therese, where are you going?” Dannie asked. 

“Home.” She stated. Dannie stood up. 

“Well let me walk you,” he touched her shoulder gently. 

“No I’ll be fine. I feel like a walk alone.” She forced a smile and then shoved her phone in her pocket. “Bye Dannie. See you Monday.” She quickly made an escape out into the cool air of the night. As she marched home she thought about Richard and their relationship over the past year. She enjoyed his company, when he wasn’t drunk. Sometimes she would even enjoy how affectionate Richard could be towards her when they cuddled or watched movies together. She had gotten used to him but it always seemed he wanted more from her. More than she wanted to give. 

Therese hugged her body tightly as she entered campus. What she felt for Richard in the course of their relationship had been nothing compared to the feelings she felt when her eyes met Carol’s five days ago. Now she was questioning her entire relationship with Richard, for a crush on a teacher. She flopped into bed with an agitated sigh. It took her a long time to fall asleep that night, unable to stop thinking about Carol. 

Monday morning arrived and Therese had not spoken to Richard since. She had been ignoring his texts. Amongst the students Therese saw Carol setting up for class and she inhaled sharply. Her hair was pulled back today, revealing her jawline and neck. She had been daydreaming about her all week and she had begun to feel like a dream. Yet here she was. Last week had been real. Today she was wearing a long dress which flowed over her body and hugged to her hips. 

“Good morning Therese,” Carol spoke, pulling Therese from her thoughts. She was immediately lost in Carol’s blue eyes. 

“Good morning,” she tilted her head with a smile and then found her seat. Carol’s eyes followed Therese to her seat before beginning the lesson. 

Therese sat, as mesmerized by Carol as she had been last week. She had made a note to pay attention to what she was saying this week. Occasionally, after Therese had been writing down notes, she would glance up to find Carol had been looking at her. Every time it happened it would both surprise and excite her. Though she tried her best to hide the rollercoaster of feelings that Carol had her on.

Art history was a drag and she grew more and more impatient to get to lunch, to get to Carol. 

“Richard’s really sorry about the other night,” Dannie whispered to her. Class was almost over and she did not feel like talking about Richard. “You should have seen him after you left. He was like a lost puppy.” Therese felt bad then. She had ignored him all day yesterday. 

“Maybe,” she took a breath. “Maybe we just aren’t right for each other.” She looked straight ahead. She had never said the words out loud. Dannie didn’t seem to be surprised. 

“Maybe. But you should talk to him.”

“I will.” Eventually, she thought. 

Mr. Stevens dismissed the class and Therese paced to the art studio faster than usual. When she stepped inside she saw Carol sitting at her desk just like last week. Carol looked up at her with bright eyes and a smile that melted her insides. 

“Hello you,” she held her gaze with Therese. 

“Hello,” Therese couldn’t help but smile, to be in Carol’s presence, alone, made her happy. She sat in her usual spot and opened her sketchbook. Carol was typing up something on her laptop. She looked down at the drawing she had done of Carol, testing it against the real thing. After a moment of scrutiny, Therese began to erase a few things. Her memory hadn’t served her well. Her usual frown settled upon her brow as she began to fix her drawing, looking up at Carol occasionally for reference. Therese’s drawing did not go unnoticed by Carol. A smile crept upon the corner of her mouth. 

“Are you drawing me?” Carol did not look up. Therese felt her heart stop, blushing like a child been caught with her hand stuck in the cookie jar. She looked up at Carol. 

“I, yes,” she admitted. Carol looked at her then. “Sorry, I should have asked.” She shook her head. “I mean, umm.”

“Don’t apologise,” she stood, looking at Therese curiously. “May I see?” Therese wanted to tell her no, to hide her face or run out of the room but Carol’s intense stare held her in place. 

“I guess so. It’s not very good,” she was sure her face was bright red. Carol approached Therese’s table, standing in front of her. She watched Carol’s face as it tilted to once side, studying her artwork. Carol’s expression was unreadable and Therese couldn’t tell if she loved it or hated it. She hoped she didn’t hate it. She couldn’t bare it if she did. 

“You’re talented, Therese,” she finally spoke and Therese looked down, smiling. “May I look at your other drawings?” Therese nodded and Carol’s fingers glided through each page of her sketchbook. Occasionally she would pause on a drawing and stare at it with the same unreadable expression. Finally she closed the sketchbook, spreading her palm over the cover. 

“Have you thought about applying for a scholarship?” Carol rested her side against the table, leaning in closer and Therese held her breath. 

“Well, no, I hadn’t really thought I was good enough.” Her eyes moved over Carol’s face, studying every detail. She noted the freckles across her nose and cheeks, the line of her brow and the curve of her lips. Therese swallowed.

“Oh you’re very good Therese.” Carol looked at her and Therese felt her insides crumbling to pieces as she thought of something to say. No words found her and her eyes lingered on Carol’s. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” A voice burst Therese from the bubble she felt like she was in. She glanced over Carol’s shoulder. 

“Richard,” her tone held annoyance. When she glanced back, Carol had already left her side. 

“I’ve been trying to text you all day.” Therese said nothing. “Let me take you to lunch, please?” 

Therese sighed and glared at Richard. “I suppose we should talk,” she packed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Therese glanced at Carol before leaving the studio. To her disappointment, Carol was engrossed in something on her computer and so she left without a word.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Thursday evening and Richard was taking Therese to the yearly carnival that was in town for the weekend. After Richard had stolen her away on Monday, he had sincerely apologised about the weekend’s events. Therese had been wary at first but after he promised to not pressure her again and told her all the things they had gone through together,   
Therese couldn’t help but give in to him. 

Richard and Therese walked hand in hand through the colourful allies with Dannie and his new date, Emily. Dannie looked happy and Therese felt glad for him. They passed a game that involved throwing a basketball into a tiny hoop. Richard and Dannie were in competition, trying desperately to win one of the big soft toys. The game was obviously rigged but that didn’t seem to stop them. 

“Boys.” Emily rolled her eyes and smirked at Therese. Therese gave her a knowing glance. Emily was shorter than herself. Her red hair fell just above her waist. She wore a floral pattern dress which was in contrast to Therese’s black skinny jeans and leather jacket. 

“Damn game’s rigged,” Richard announced, undoubtedly frustrated. Just as he had given up, Dannie landed a ball straight through the hoop. Richard yelled in disbelief. 

“What one do you want Em?” He asked. Richard clenched his jaw before paying for another round of balls. 

“Richard, just face it, Dannie’s better at basketball than you.” Therese smirked at Dannie. She and Dannie often spent their weekend mornings playing hoops together. Richard ignored her, an intense expression of focus on his face as he tried to land the ball in the hoop. Therese exhaled and turned to look around at the other attractions. Her eyes unexpectedly landed on a familiar person across the track. It was Carol. She was with a small child, probably Rindy, Therese supposed. She was helping her with a game that involved hooking plastic ducks with a rod. Therese noticed the smile of affection on Carol’s face as she played with her daughter. 

Suddenly, as if she knew someone was watching her, Carol stood up, looking around at the people passing in between her and Therese. Her eyes then met Therese’s and she smiled. Therese found her feet moving towards Carol, dodging the crowds of people moving in a different direction to where she was going. 

“Therese, hello.” She looked happy. “Fancy meeting you here.” Rindy came to stand beside her and Carol let her hand rest on top of her daughter’s head, stroking her hair. 

“Yes, Richard insisted on taking me. He’s trying to win at that basketball game,” she turned for a moment to look at him, still engaged with the game. Carol glanced over Therese’s shoulder. 

“Doesn’t he know those games are rigged?” Her eyes met Therese’s again and there was a silence between them. Therese felt a strange freeness in seeing Carol outside of class. She felt she could almost lean in and kiss her lips, as though it was as natural as breathing air. 

“Hey Therese, we’re gonna go on the Ferris Wheel,” Dannie was suddenly in her ear. Her eyes reluctantly dragged from Carol’s to look at Dannie

“I thought you were afraid of heights,” she teased. 

“Ha ha very funny,” Dannie bumped her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys after. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

Therese rolled her eyes. “Bye.”

Richard was then at her side, putting an arm around her waist. “Wanna go on the Ferris Wheel Terry?” he glanced at Carol for a moment. Therese hesitated for a moment. She didn’t want to leave Carol. 

“Richard this is Carol,” she managed to slip out of Richards grasp. “She’s the new art teacher I was telling you about.” 

“Nice to meet you,” he held out his hand and Carol took it. Therese’s eyes moved between Richard’s and Carols nervously. Carol nodded in reply and let her hand fall. 

“Why don’t you and Rindy come on with us?” Therese blurted. She was almost desperate not to say goodbye to Carol, not yet. Carol dismissed her invitation with a wave of her hand. 

“You two should go have fun,” her eyes found Therese’s again and she felt her heart sink a little. 

“There’s plenty of room for the four of us, it’s no trouble,” Richard piped up, to Therese’s surprise. 

“Well, if you’re sure. Rindy’s been nagging me all afternoon.”

Richard sat next to Therese, leaving Carol to sit opposite Therese. The seats where built close together and left no room for leg space. Therese found her leg pressed against the side of Carol’s and though Carol didn’t seem to mind or even notice, Therese found it hard to pay attention to anything else. 

Therese leaned to one side and scanned the happenings below her. Everything seemed small and colourful, lights flashing everywhere. The commotion and racket from below began to vanish the higher they got until they were at the very top. Therese looked up to find Carol smiling at her. Carol had been watching her and the thought made Therese shy and gleeful all at the same time. She smiled at Carol and found the warm feeling return, pulling at her insides and leaving her lost in Carol’s eyes. Up so high Therese felt she was in another world, a secret world. Although Richard was beside her, she felt as though her and Carol conveyed a secret conversation through glances alone. 

“Mommy look!” Rindy shouted, pointing to something down below. Carol turned to inspect whatever Rindy was pointing at. Therese watched Carol put her arm around her daughter, dipping her head to be at eye level with Rindy. She watched the way the flashing lights reflected on Carol’s face, illuminating her hair and her skin. She admired the way Carol adored Rindy. She could see it in her eyes. It was the nurturing side that Therese now saw that made her all the more drawn to Carol. She almost envied Rindy for having a mother who cared for her so dearly. 

The ride began to slow as people were let off one by one. Therese climbed out first and Carol followed, helping Rindy down. Carol held Rindy on her hip as they exited down a ramp back to the crowds of excited people. Carol stood looking expectantly at Therese. 

“Well I think it’s time I got this one to b-e-d,” she spelt out the letters, stroking Rindy’s hair. 

“Alright,” Therese stood awkwardly, not sure if she should hug Carol goodbye. She swayed forward on her feet. “It was nice seeing you,” Therese said a little too buoyantly. She frowned, feeling as though she should have picked different words to say. She always found herself saying the wrong thing around Carol. 

“It was nice to see you too,” Carol smirked. “See you Monday.” She then turned to leave. “Oh and bring your project.” 

“Okay,” Therese watched her leave.

“You’re in a good mood,” Richard took Therese’s hand. She had almost forgotten he was beside her. 

“I like carnivals,” Therese and Richard began to walk back to find Dannie and Emily. She looked back one last time, stealing another glance at Carol who was now disappearing into the flow of people. 

“You guys ready for a real ride?” Richard was staring at the Space Roller. It had limbs that resembled an octopus that would flip passengers upside down and all directions. 

“I’m game if you are,” Dannie agreed. Therese wasn’t one for backing down and decided she’d go on too. She’d never been on the Space Roller before but she did love the other rides that went upside down. 

Therese soon found herself strapped into her seat with a padded bar across her front. She gripped the handles tightly as anticipation rose in her. Her heart began to race as the ride took off. It was slow at first but it soon began to increase speed until she was being flung around like a doll. The world was flipped upside down over and over and she felt like she was flying. Therese heard a loud scream beside her and Therese laughed and screamed too, letting go of the handles, letting go of all the stress she’d been feeling that week. 

When the four of them met up at the exit ramp, Richard’s face looked green and Dannie laughed at him. Therese’s hair was a mess and she tried to smooth it out. 

“Should have tied it up,” Emily smiled at her, patting down a wild strand of hair on Therese’s head. She had been smart and pulled her hair back. “Though it does give you a sort of punk look.” 

“Why don’t you start a band Therese,” Dannie joked. 

“Maybe if you two actually knew how to play something other than the triangle,” she replied sarcastically as they began to stroll down a path that lead to the food court. They spent the rest of the night chatting and watching the fireworks that eventually ended the night. 

Therese climbed in bed, content with how the day had panned out. A smiled crept on her lips as she remembered the unexpected encounter with Carol. She rolled onto her side as the thought about Carol. Sleep came easy that night. 

 

Therese strode into class on Monday morning feeling contented and happy. Carol was writing something on the whiteboard and Therese let her eyes wander over her body. Mondays were fast becoming her favourite day. It was ironic considering she used to hate them with a passion, along with the rest of the planet. Instead of going straight to her seat, Therese felt a surge of boldness flow over her and she walked up to Carol. 

“Morning,” she smiled hopefully, playing with the strap of her bag. Carol glanced at her, taking a breath before looking back at the white board. 

“Morning Therese.” Her voice was plain. Her tone was polite but to Therese felt like a betrayal. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she bit her lip, turning to walk to her seat. Had she been imagining Carol’s friendliness all this time? Her brows came together as she stared down at her sketchbook, feeling embarrassed and disappointed. 

Through class Carol did not glance at Therese once and she began to feel her insides churn. Perhaps she had been in a delusional state for the past month that she had finally snapped out of. Or perhaps she had done something to offend Carol and now she hated her. Therese began to feel sick with worry and was close to tears when class finally ended.   
Therese headed straight for the door when she heard a voice call to her. It was Carol. She stopped for a moment as students squeezed past the door she was blocking. Therese finally turned to look at Carol. She was looking at Therese with an unreadable expression, like she was contemplating what she was going to say. 

“I’m going out for lunch today,” she said matter-of-factly. Therese found herself looking at her feet, and then at the wall. Anywhere but Carol. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to come,” Carol finally said after a long silence. Therese almost asked her if she had heard right but the look in Carol’s eyes stopped her. It was almost as though she was scared or at the very least, nervous. 

“Yes, alright.” The words came out of her mouth without a thought. To have lunch with Carol, outside of college, excited her. 

“Bring you drawings.”

“Of course.” Therese was still, momentarily lost in thought. She then realised she had class and that she would be late. “See you later.”

“Bye Therese.” Carol lifted her eyes to see Therese hurry out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Therese barely heard a word Mr. Stevens said as she sat by herself in History class. Dannie was seated a few rows down from her in the auditorium with Emily. He had asked her if it was okay if he sat with Emily and of course she didn’t mind. He had also asked her if everything was okay, noting that Therese looked jittery. Class had started then and she had brushed him off, insisting she was fine. She stared at the blank page in her notebook. Her pen scribbled over the page, writing Carol’s name in cursive writing. It was the only thing she could think about. Her nerves mounted within her with each passing moment, growing and growing until Mr. Stevens dismissed them from class. 

Therese was the first person out the door. She quickly sped down the cement path that lead back to the art studio. Her feet clumsily descended a set of stairs and she lost her footing, clinging to the rails to stop herself from falling. 

“Shit,” she breathed, and straightened herself as she slowly made the rest of the stairs. When she came to the entrance of the studio she peered her head in to find Carol packing her laptop away. Therese smiled brightly, letting out a puff of air as she tried to catch her breath. Carol lifted her head and saw Therese awaiting her at the door. She straightened, pulling her bag over her shoulder. 

“Ready to go?” Carol beamed at her and proceeded to the door. Therese moved to one side, letting her pass. Therese nodded and they walked side by side to Carol’s car. 

“Do you mind if I smoke?” Carol pulled out a cigarette before rummaging through her bag for a lighter. 

“No not at all.” Therese found herself watching Carol light the cigarette before drawing in a puff of smoke. Her eyes focused on Carol’s lips and then her hand as she removed the cigarette from her mouth between two fingers. 

“I should really quit, I know.” Therese watched the cigarette come to Carol’s lips again and she suddenly wished she was that cigarette. She wanted Carol to claim her lips, to breathe her in and consume her completely. 

Therese sat in the passenger seat of Carol’s car as she glanced around nervously taking in the interior. They drove in relative silence, apart from the radio that played music. Therese would steal glances at Carol, watching how she concentrated on the road before her. Occasionally, Carol eyes would find Therese’s and she would smile. It was a soft yet playful kind of smile that warmed Therese’s insides and she found she couldn’t stop smiling herself. 

A familiar song started to play on the radio and Therese turned her head from looking out the window, glancing at the stereo. 

“I love this song,” she enthused shyly. Carol seemed to be amused by Therese as she started to bop her head to the music. The lyrics tarted to unfold before them and Therese started to feel like it was singing her own thoughts, spilling all of her secrets before Carol. 

Why are you so far away she said. Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you, that I’m in love with you. You, soft and only. You, lost and lonely. You, strange as angels. 

Therese looked at Carol and noted that she seemed distant now, as though her mind was far away. She found herself wanting to know what Carol was thinking, wanting to know everything about her in fact. 

They came to a café that Therese had never been to before, though she had passed many times in the car. They sat opposite in a corner booth next to a window. 

“What can I get you two?” A waitress approached them almost immediately. Therese had no idea what was on the menu and her mind raced as she tried to decide. 

“I’ll have the steak burger with a salad please,” Carol said. She must have been here before as she knew exactly what to order. “And an espresso macchiato,” she glanced at Therese expectantly. The waiter also looked at her, awaiting her order. Her thoughts became a blur under the pressure. 

“I’ll have the same as her,” Therese shrugged. Carol eyed her with amusement and the waiter left. 

“So,” Carol began and Therese looked up at her expectantly. “Let’s have a look at your project.”

“Of course,” Therese had almost forgotten that this was why Carol had asked her to lunch; to discuss her work. So why did Therese get the feeling it was more than just that? She dragged out her portfolio bag and placed it on the table. The width of it almost took up the space of their table. Therese watched Carol as beheld her painting. She felt almost naked, her work literally lain out before Carol and Therese had nowhere to hide. 

“I love your use of paper to add depth,” her fingers hovered over the paint, not quite touching it. It was a portrait of a face, the focal point being the eyes. Therese had always been intrigued by eyes. She saw them as windows to the soul. That was what she was trying to capture in her project. Carol’s eyes were lost in the artwork and Therese almost felt she was intruding by looking at her. “It’s beautiful.” Her voice was sincere and Therese felt her heart leap. 

“Thank you,” she flushed. She had been so worried that Carol would not like it. Therese felt herself become bold, reaching her hand to point out a portion that she found particularly difficult. Carol moved to the same spot just as Therese had and their hands collided. Therese found herself unable to move, her hand on top of Carol’s. As if having a mind of its own, her fingers gently brushed over Carol’s and her heart began to hammer inside her chest. Time felt like it had slowed down and her brain was yet to catch up with what she had done. Suddenly a voice spoke and both Therese and Carol jerked their hands away. 

“Your food is ready,” the waiter said, standing above them. 

“Oh sorry,” Therese moved to pull her painting off the table. Carol brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as the waitress placed their food on the table. 

“Enjoy your food,” she left as quickly as she had spoken the words, leaving Carol and Therese alone once more. Therese looked down at her food, not daring to look at Carol now. They began to eat in silence and the air hung thick with what had happened moments before. When Therese finally dared to steal a glance at Carol her heart fell with what she saw. Carol’s expression was unreadable, a look she was fast becoming used to seeing. It was like a wall had come up between them that was utterly impenetrable.   
The drive back was even worse. To Therese it felt drawn out and the tension within her swelled with each passing moment until Carol finally spoke. 

“Harge is trying to get more custody of Rindy,” Therese looked at Carol. She looked annoyed now. She blew a puff of smoke out the window. “Since I started work he seems to think I don’t have enough time for my own daughter.” Therese felt the tension leave her body. Perhaps Carol didn’t hate her after all. 

“How can he do that?” Therese had seen how Carol was with Rindy. She seemed a wonderful mother. Carol shook her head and glanced at Therese, looking at her as if she were deciding whether she should continue. 

“It’s not about Rindy. It’s about Harge trying to control me.” Her hand gripped the steering wheel and Therese suddenly felt she should say something to help her. She quickly found she had no words. “Even after divorce I can’t escape him. Pain in the ass.” 

“I’m sorry,” Therese managed to say, and she felt foolish for not having any words of comfort or wisdom. 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” she sighed affectionately as she pulled into a parking space. They had made it back to college and suddenly Therese didn’t feel like leaving anymore. 

“I almost broke up with Richard,” Therese blurted softly. Carol was looking at her now but Therese stared straight ahead. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m in love with him. I don’t think I ever was.” Therese found Carol’s eyes. “I feel like I am staying with him out of habit. I suppose you think I’m terrible for letting him hang on.” 

“Not at all.” Carol opened her door and stepped out, crossing her arms. Therese came around to stand beside her. The last thing she wanted to do was leave. She put her hands in her pockets. 

“Well it was nice talking to you,” her voice hitched in a way that made her feel small. She longingly stared at Carol who mirrored her expression. Therese felt herself being drawn towards Carol and she fought with herself to remain stationary. And then as if coming to her senses, Carol looked away. 

“I have to go, to class.” She took a step away from Therese but her eyes lingered on the young woman. She looked as though she was torn between coming and going and found she was stuck. And then she shook her head and turned to leave. Before she got too far away she curved her head and gave Therese a wave, a smile on her face. 

Therese stood motionless, watching Carol walk back to campus. She was surprised and confused and ecstatic all at once. Carol felt something for Therese, she was sure.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day it was pouring rain. Therese sat at her window observing the campus grounds, watching the rain fall against the window pane and on the green fields. She was both happy and sad. Now and again Therese found herself in melancholy moods but lately it would make an appearance more regularly. Her feelings towards Carol made her happy, suddenly brightening her life as she saw the world in a new light. But at the same time she felt sad. Sad because deep down she knew Carol would probably never fall for a girl like Therese. She felt utterly inadequate. The impossibility of the situation tugged at her insides causing a swell of confusion and so there she sat, gazing out the window at nothing in particular, feeling both sad and happy all at once. 

It was late that morning when she heard a soft nock at the door. Her first thought shot to Carol but she quickly realised that it was entirely illogical as Carol didn’t know her dorm number. A voice soon confirmed her thoughts. 

“Terry it’s me,” Richard’s muffled voice sounded gentle today. 

“It’s open.” Therese didn’t move from her seat by the window. She was wrapped up in blankets and was far too comfortable to move. Richard opened the door and smiled when he spotted Therese by the window. He then noted her expression and his face fell. He had known Therese long enough to know when she was in one of her solemn moods. He awkwardly paced around her room, eyeing the drawings on her wall with familiarity. His eyes then stumbled upon Therese’s sketchbook. It was open on the drawing of Carol. He studied it for a moment, his brows coming together. 

Therese looked over to Richard and instantly remembered she had left her sketchbook out. It was too late now though. Richard had already seen it. 

“This is good, Therese.” He didn’t look up as he spoke. 

“Thanks.” Somehow the words didn’t feel like a compliment and the atmosphere grew tense. Richard had always bugged her to draw him, wanting so desperately to be her muse. Therese had always told him that she had to be in the right mood. The right mood never came. 

Richard finally flipped the page and found another drawing of Carol. His jaw clenched and Therese suddenly felt annoyed that he was even there. 

“It’s good to see that you’ve found yourself a muse.” He sounded polite but Therese knew better. 

“That’s not what-“

“How come you never draw me, huh Terry?” He sounded almost hurt. 

“Richard.” She was unwrapping herself form her blankets now. 

“And you barely even touch me anymore.” It was as if the last straw had snapped between them and Therese felt anger rise up within her. 

“They’re just drawings Richard!”

“Just drawings my ass. Therese do you even love me?” 

Therese stood, staring at Richard and no words found her. Recognition fell on his face and he looked away. He quickly turned and strode to the door. 

“Richard,” Therese sighed as he opened the door. “Richard wait,” she said, but Richard had already left. Therese didn’t bother to follow him. Instead she went back to the window and sat down with a huff. For the rest of the week neither of them spoke to each other and Therese found herself spending most of her time in her dorm room. Even Dannie was busy with Emily and Therese felt utterly alone. 

It was Monday morning and Therese was already seated in class. Carol was nowhere to be seen. There was a quiet chatter flowing throughout the class when Carol hurriedly walked through the door. Her eyes scanned over the students before briefly acknowledging Therese. Carol did not look happy. 

“Quiet, please,” she started. Carol was unusually short with the students and Therese could tell she was anxious about something. She wanted to ask her if everything was alright but there was no time in class. At one point Carol raised her voice at a particularly silly question before apologising. The class fell quiet after that and Carol decided to let the students spend the remaining hour working on their projects. Therese could hardly concentrate on her painting, stealing glances up at Carol. She could see the lines of stress forming under her eyes and Therese felt for her.

Therese sat in her chair waiting until everyone had left the art studio. Carol finally glanced up at Therese and there was a long silence between them. She then arose and walked to Carol’s side. She didn’t know what to say. Instead she leant against Carol’s desk, looking down at her. Carol sighed, knowing that Therese was waiting for her to speak. 

“Harge has filed the papers to seek full custody of Rindy.” She didn’t look at Therese. “I had a meeting with my lawyer before class.” The meeting had ended an hour before class but Carol had found herself falling apart in her car. She was already five minutes late when she realised the time. Suddenly Therese saw the tears that were welling up in Carol’s eyes and her heart fell. 

“Oh Carol.” She placed a hand on her shoulder and Carol looked away to hide her tears that now fell. Therese had heard some heartbreaking things before but by far was the sound of Carol softly weeping. 

“I’m so sorry,” she spoke tenderly, leaning in closer. Seeing Carol upset made Therese want to cry but she held her tears back. 

And then Carol turned her face to find Therese’s inches from her own. Their eyes searched each other’s and Therese became lost in Carol’s blue eyes that were stricken with tears. The world was pulling Therese towards Carol. To be close to Carol felt as natural as breathing and she fought with all she had not to let her lips move just that little closer. Therese lifted her hand to Carol’s face, ever so lightly gliding her fingers across her tear stained cheek. Carol let her eyes fall shut as a breath escaped her lips. And then she opened them again, turning her face from Therese. Her hand immediately fell from Carol’s cheek. 

“I think you should go,” Carol said, refusing to look at Therese. 

Therese found herself stuck, unable to move as if she had just heard the worst news of her life. And then the words registered and Therese quickly left Carol’s side, heading straight out the door. She fought hard not to run; for she wanted to run far away. Therese felt sick to her stomach and before she had made it back to her dorm, tears began to flow down her face. She closed the door quietly and slumped down onto the floor, letting her tears fall freely now. 

Therese felt embarrassed and rejected and utterly foolish. Carol didn’t want her, she thought. She wiped the tears from her eyes, remembering the look in Carol’s eyes. It spoke of a longing that even Therese could not mistake. But then Carol had told her to leave and all she could feel was hurt. 

 

The rest of the week was spent inside the four walls of her dorm room. Her melancholy settled in and she began to draw for hours on end each day. It wasn’t until Saturday that Dannie came to visit her. They hadn’t seen each other ever since Richard and she stopped talking. She had told him everything that had happened with Carol and Dannie listened. 

“Well maybe it was better nothing happened. You know she could get in a lot of trouble,” Dannie added. They sat together on Therese’s bed watching a movie. “But sometimes you just can’t help the people we fall for. Like fate.” 

“Are you telling me that I should go for it?” Therese looked at Dannie in half disbelief. 

“I’m telling you, you should go with your heart, because what is the point if we can’t be with the ones we love?” he replied honestly. They both sat silently then and Therese thought over Dannie’s words. 

“I’m going to break up with Richard.” Therese was eyeing her T.V. intently. 

“If it’s what you have to do,” Dannie smiled reassuringly. 

“Thank you for being a good friend Dannie,” she sighed, pulling him into a hug. 

 

The next day Therese messaged Richard to meet her at the campus park. She sat alone on a seat that had been built around a tree. She fidgeted nervously, waiting for Richard to show. When she finally saw him walking towards her she stood. Her entire body was brimming with anxiety and she hoped Richard wouldn’t take it too hard. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Richard shoved his hands in his pockets. Therese found herself staring at her shoes. 

“Well I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she paused, looking up at Richard now. “And I don’t think it’s fair on you that I keep you hanging on when-“

“When what?” His voice was harsh and Therese shied away. 

“When we both know I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry.” She wanted it to be over already. 

“Well I’m glad you finally figured yourself out meanwhile I get dragged along for the ride.”

“Richard, don’t be like that. I had a lot of great times with you.”

“Please,” he held his hand up. “Spare me the cliché ‘let’s be friends’. Goodbye Therese.” They shared one last glance before he began to walk away.   
Therese stood by the tree as she watched Richard leave, watched him disappear from her life. She wondered if they’d ever speak again, or if they’d return to the strangers they once were this time last year. She knew he’d find someone else; someone who loved him. Someone who wasn’t in love with a woman, she thought. For once in her life she was sure of what she was to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Therese reluctantly entered the art studio on Monday morning. She eyed her shoes intently as she walked to her seat. She was nervous; nervous to even look at Carol. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Carol and her face rose to meet her gaze. Carol was looking straight at her and all the feelings and longing she had felt last week came rushing back. Therese looked at her sadly but Carol turned away then, her back to the class. Therese fought with herself not to start crying again. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry.  
Class dragged on for what felt like an eternity until finally everyone began to leave. Therese straightened in her chair and looked at Carol from across the room. They were alone now and Carol glanced up at her. She seemed distant once again. Therese closed her sketch book and stood. Her chair made a scaping noise and she silently cursed herself. Carol did not look up though, even as Therese came to stand by the front rows of desks. 

“I wanted to, apologise for last week.” Her arms were crossed over her chest. Carol’s hand waved as she brushed it off. 

“That’s alright. No need to apologise.” She looked at Therese briefly then back at her laptop as she began typing something. Therese watched her, her heart beating faster with each passing second. 

“But I don’t think my feelings are one sided,” Therese spoke softly, her voice almost failing. She swallowed nervously. 

“There-,“ Carol began, turning in her chair to look at her. 

“I saw the way you looked at me,” she interrupted. Carol stood up, her head turned from Therese and she could see Carol falling apart in front of her. It was as though she wanted to leave but she couldn’t. Something held her there. “I saw it in your eyes,” Therese spoke gently and Carol finally looked at her. Carol’s eyes were now filling with tears as Therese stepped forward. They came face to face and Carol had to turn her face from Therese. She had no words. She wanted to say something but she knew that Therese was right. 

It took all Therese’s bravery to close the gap between them, her breath on Carol’s jaw. Carol’s shoulders sunk with a sigh and Therese pressed her lips to her jawline. Carol did not move as Therese’s face brushed against her own, her soft skin caressing Carol’s. And then her lips found Carol’s. Therese’s lips parted slightly, brushing her open mouth over Carol’s. 

At first Carol fought inside herself a battle between leaving and staying which rendered her unable to move. But then Therese’s lips against her own had forced her to decide. She could not leave and finally she kissed her back, capturing Therese’s lower lip between her own. Her palm came to Therese’s neck as she deepened the kiss and Therese kissed her pack passionately. Desire swelled within both of them, pulling them closer together until their bodies were pressed against each other. 

Chatter from outside drew them from their reverie and they broke apart suddenly. A few students then entered the classroom, completely unaware of them. Carol backed away from Therese, lifting her fingers to her lips. Therese gazed at her with an intense longing, her breath coming in quickly and Carol’s face mirrored her expression. The last thing Therese wanted to do was leave but more students followed, taking their seats. They shared one last glance before Therese reluctantly turned and left for her next class. Carol walked to the window and watched as Therese left. At the last moment Therese quickly turned around and saw Carol looking at her. Her heart skipped a beat before she forced herself to walk to class.

Therese arrived outside history class. Dannie was waiting for her when he noticed the wild look in her eyes. 

“Therese are you okay? You look like-,”

“I’m fine,” she cut him off with a nod. Dannie didn’t believe her but let it go, entering the auditorium. To her surprise, Dannie sat with her today. 

“Where’s Emily?” 

“She’s not well, some cold thing. Everyone’s coming down with it lately.”

“Poor thing,” Therese whispered. Mr. Stevens had begun to go over the semester’s work. The mid semester exam was next week but Therese couldn’t possibly concentrate on studying after what had just happened. She smiled to herself, remembering the feel of Carol’s lips, so soft and delicate. 

“Are you going to tell me why you are acting so strange today?” Dannie leaned in to whisper. Mr. Stevens looked up at them with a disgruntled expression and Dannie quieted. For the rest of class Therese and Dannie sat quietly. Inside, she was exploding. 

When the end of the two hour lecture had arrived, Therese rose from her heat before the professor had even dismissed the class. Therese didn’t care. She knew Carol would have finished with her class by now and that she would be alone. She hurried out of the auditorium and sped down campus back to the art studio. She took a deep breath, recollecting herself before stepping inside. Her eyes immediately fell on Carol’s.

Carol had been putting a pile of books away when she looked up to find Therese staring at her. She immediately straightened, her eyes never leaving Therese’s. 

“We can’t do this. We could get in a lot of trouble,” Carol said. She sounded nervous, though she tried to hide it. 

“I don’t care.” Her voice was small but her feet moved boldly towards Carol.   
L  
ike a feather floating in the air, their eyes lingered on each other until finally the feather fell to the floor. Carol came to her at once, taking Therese’s hand as she led her back through the art studio. Therese followed behind, quickly weaving around tables and chairs until they came to the dark room. Everything went black as Carol closed the door shut and Therese’s breath hitched in anticipation. She lost all sense of direction until Carol flipped a switch and the room became illuminated in red. Her eyes fell on pictures that hung along wire. In her two years of being at college she had never been in the dark room. She had never studied photography. But now she was taken by the images before her that were in black and white. 

Carol was tranquil as she watched Therese. She watched the way her eyes moved over each image, scrutinizing each detail. Time seemed to have slowed down and it felt as though they were in a dream like state or in another land where time had been forgotten. 

“I missed you last week. You didn’t show,” Carol broke the silence and time snapped back into place. With her face still lifted, Therese looked at Carol. And then slowly, they drew together, closer and closer until their faces were just inches apart. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Carol began. “With a student. I’ve never felt like this.” She attempted to convey her emotions for Therese. 

“I felt it the moment I first saw you.” Therese’s voice was just a whisper and Carol could feel her warm breath flow against her lips. Their lips lingered ever so closely as their eyes still watched each other with an intensity that made Therese’s insides warm. And then like a feather, Carol’s lip brushed past Therese’ lips and she felt a jolt of electricity surge through her. Therese returned the gesture with a sweep of her lips and then it became all too much, the anticipation mounting between them. Carol closed her eyes and kissed Therese’s top lip and then her bottom lip and Therese came undone. The kiss deepened as they became lost in the passion. She found herself pressed against a wall and a few photos scattered to the floor. Neither of them noticed. 

Their mouths parted and Therese found herself breathless as Carol’s lips found her cheek and then her jaw. She let her head lull to one side and Carol moved over her neck with long, languid kisses that filled Therese’s insides with fire. Carol’s lips felt a moan in Therese’s throat and she ran her teeth along her windpipe before nipping the skin just underneath her jaw. 

Carol then moved away to look at Therese. In the red light she could see her darkened eyes that spoke of desire and something else. Carol searched Therese and she realised what she saw was love. 

“Not here,” Carol whispered. She wanted to be alone and safe with Therese. The dark room in the art studio was not where Carol wanted to have Therese. She wanted it to be special; she wanted to make love to Therese. She then lifted her face to press her lips to Therese’s forehead. She breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled of strawberries.   
Therese moved her face to one side, letting Carol’s lips brush over her cheek. She then kissed Carol, desperate not to let her go. Carol moaned softly before breaking the kiss. 

“Therese,” she breathed, pleading with her, and herself, to stop. 

“When can I see you?” Therese whispered in her ear. 

“Tonight.”

“I want you,” Therese replied and Carol almost lost her resolve. 

“Tonight,” she repeated, more so to herself. 

“Come to my dorm. Room B 62.” Her arms wrapped around Carol for the first time, pressing their bodies together and Therese did not want to let go. She breathed in Carol’s scent and relished in the closeness of the embrace. After a long time, Carol let go and stared intently at her. Her hand came to Therese’s cheek. 

“Flung out of space,” she said softly and Therese leaned into her touch.


	7. Chapter 7

Therese came back to her dorm room and flopped onto her bed. She looked at her phone. It was one in the afternoon and she had hours to kill before Carol would be there. With a sigh, she dropped her phone on the bed and glanced around the room. It was a mess. There were take-out boxes piling up, dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, and her desk was a complete disaster. The last two weeks had been mostly spent huddled away in her room and she hadn’t really thought about keeping tidy. 

She plugged her iPod into her speakers and pressed play. Music began to flood through the room as Therese eyed the mess before her. She hastily got to work, piling the empty food containers into a garbage bag. Her iPod changed to a particularly upbeat song and the task at hand was swiftly forgotten as she danced around the room. There was no method to her movements; they were wild and uncoordinated. On the last beat of the song, Therese scooped up a dirty shirt and threw it into her washing basket. She stood breathless, looking around the room. It was still a mess. 

Another song began to play. It was slower and the lyrics unfolded before her and swelled within her. She lied down on the floor and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling, thinking of Carol and she couldn’t help but smile. 

'Watching I keep waiting, still anticipating love. Never hesitating to become the fated ones. Turning and returning to some secret place to hide. Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say, my love, take my breath away.'

The words found her heart and expressed so perfectly how she felt for Carol. When the song ended she stood and replayed it as she continued to tidy. Occasionally she would twirl around the room, becoming lost in the music. 

It was around five-thirty when she had finally cleaned her room. She would have finished hours ago if she hadn’t gotten distracted by Dannie texting her and of course, dancing around the room more often than not. Dannie had asked her if she wanted to have a game of basketball tomorrow morning. Therese had agreed. She knew Dannie wanted to talk to her about why she was acting so strange but that would have to wait until tomorrow. Right now she needed to get herself clean. 

With a towel over her shoulder, she strolled down the hall to the communal bathroom. When she opened the door she spotted two women by the mirrors. They glanced at her for a moment before Therese looked away. She quickly entered one of the empty showers. Therese knew they were lesbians from the way they dressed and by the way they held themselves. She undressed and turned on the hot water. As she showered, she wondered if people could tell she was interested in women; or at least one woman, in particular. Therese had always found women beautiful but Carol made her feel something entirely beyond anything she had felt before. There had been quite a few boys interested in her in high school and she had been flattered by the attention. When she got to college Richard had pursued her until she had finally decided she liked him. She did like him but it was a platonic feeling and it had taken her this long to realise that she just couldn’t love Richard. 

To love Carol was as easy as breathing air, Therese thought with a smile, turning off the water. She wrapped her towel around her and stepped out of the shower. The two women that had been there earlier were gone and she walked to the mirror. Her wet hair clung to her face as she brushed her teeth. When she was finished, she walked back to her room. Her dorm building contained only women so she didn’t mind the short journey back to her room in just a towel. 

Therese stared at her sparse wardrobe, trying to pick something to wear. Half of her clothes were dirty and even then she didn’t have many choices of attire. She wanted to look nice and she wanted to look mature. The last thing she wanted was for Carol to think of her as childish. With a sigh, she pulled out a fitted, long sleeve black shirt. It was the only thing she had that wasn’t a band shirt or raggedy. She pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and observed her reflection in the mirror. 

Therese was applying eyeliner when she heard a quiet knock at her door and her heart stopped. She took a step back to check herself once more before she quickly opened the door. Carol looked at Therese anxiously and immediately stepped inside. Therese poked her head out the door to see if anyone saw. The halls were completely empty and so she shut the door and locked it. When she turned around, Carol was looking at her walls. She eyed the artwork that Therese had plastered all over her room. Therese watched her apprehensively as she walked around the room. Finally her eyes fell on the drawing Therese had sketched of Carol. Therese felt her cheeks turn hot. She came to stand behind   
Carol so that she could also look at the drawing. Carol could feel Therese behind her, could feel her breath against her neck. 

“Can I draw you?” Therese suddenly found herself saying. She wanted to capture Carol’s beauty, all of her beauty. “All of you,” she added softly. She could hardly believe what she had just asked. Carol blushed and turned to look at Therese and their eyes lingered on each other for a moment. 

“Alright,” she replied after a beat and took off her overcoat. Therese held her breath, unable to move as Carol began to take off her clothes. And then she remembered what she was doing and she hurriedly set up her easel and sketchbook. She eventually looked up to find Carol completely naked and she could not look away. Her eyes were wide and she felt her entire body flush. 

“Where do you want me,” Carol said. She was feeling self-conscious but the look in Therese’s eyes made her feel attractive. 

“You could sit on my bed. However you feel comfortable.” Therese shook herself back to reality and began to focus on drawing. Her pencil began to draw long strokes. Every time Therese looked up from her sketchbook, Carol was staring at her provocatively. Even as her eyes moved over Carol’s breasts and down her stomach she continued to watch Therese. 

A few hours passed before Therese was finally content with her drawing and Carol was relieved to be able to move. She pulled Therese’s blanket over her shoulders and approached the easel. Therese held her breath as Carol scrutinized her work. 

“It’s beautiful,” she said finally. 

“You’re beautiful.” Therese turned her face to see Carol. Their eyes met before Carol leant down to kiss her. Soft lips found each other before Carol lifted her hand to Therese’s neck. The blanket around her shoulders slipped to the floor and she didn’t mind. Therese craned her neck to deepen the kiss, pulling Carol in closer. Therese was fast losing her breath and she broke apart to drag her lips across Carol’s cheek. 

And then wordlessly Therese rose from her seat and walked towards her bed, turning on the white fairy lights that wrapped around her bed frame. She then turned off the ceiling light. Carol observed from behind her as she lifted the black shirt over her head and dropped in to the floor. She then unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs. She looked over her shoulder at Carol before turning to face her. Carol’s eyes fell upon her naked breasts before closing the distance between them. Her eyes spoke of lust and adoration and Therese found herself both nervous and wanting. 

Carol’s mouth moved over Therese’s lips hungrily before kissing her cheek and down her neck. When her lips came to Therese’s collarbone, she found herself being pulled down onto the bed on top of Therese. Breathlessly, Carol hovered over Therese, searching her eyes. She could see Therese was nervous as her hand moved between the younger woman’s breasts. And then she kissed Therese again as her hand moved over her heart. 

“Your heart is racing,” she whispered, her lips just inches from Therese’s. Carol silently observed her expression, making sure that this was what Therese wanted. And as if knowing, Therese threaded her fingers through Carol’s hair and pulled her into a searing kiss. Carol instinctively moved so she was fully on top of Therese.   
Therese soon found her body coming alive and her leg naturally slipped between Carol’s. Carol’s thigh came to her centre and she gasped. Trying to gain more contact, Therese rocked her hips against her thigh and Carol returned the movement with a soft moan. 

Carol’s fingers brushed over Therese’s lips before she delicately kissed her once more. Carol’s lips followed her fingers down her chin and neck with languid kisses. Slowly she progressed lower, her fingers tracing over her breasts before lips came to capture a nipple in her mouth. Therese arched her back at the sensation. Her fingers then moved down Therese’s ribcage and Carol followed them with soft peppering kisses along each rib that developed into long, wet kisses the lower she went. 

Therese lifted herself to watch as Carol followed the hand that slipped over the curve of her hip. She kisses and nipped at the skin she found there until Therese was panting, her head falling to one side. Carol took her time with Therese’s lower stomach. She bequeathed Therese with kisses so light it made her stomach quiver and tense with each brush of her lips. 

Carol’s fingers finally slipped lower, between her folds and Therese gasped. Her fingertips traced her lips, wetting them with Therese’s arousal. And then Carol’s lips followed, moving between her legs to place a delicate kiss on her mound. Therese bucked her hips gently, expressing her need for Carol. Finally her lips made contact with Therese’s most sensitive spot. Her fingers slipped inside Therese as her tongue languidly swirled and flicked over her bundle of nerves. She then took it between her lips and a whimper escaped the younger woman. Her spine arched as Carol drew pleasure from Therese with her mouth and the fingers that now moved inside of her. 

And then Carol needed to be closer to Therese, longing for more connection. She trailed her lips back up Therese’s body, biting her neck before soothing it with a kiss. And then her eyes met with Therese’s once more. Carol moved onto her side, pulling Therese so they faced each other. Her fingers still moved inside of Therese, very slowly as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Her movements were unrushed and Therese felt a pleasure that ever so slowly began to build within her. 

Therese became spellbound by Carol’s blue eyes. Waves of pleasure ebbed and flowed through her, growing stronger and stronger until she found herself pressed against Carol’s body. Her leg wrapped around Carol’s hip and she began to thrust faster. Therese swept her face against Carol’s cheek before finding her lips. She kissed her with desperation and passion before hiding her face against the crook of Carol’s neck. Carol held her tightly as Therese’s body became rigid until she began to tremble as the waves of pleasure subsided. 

Slowly, Therese’s muscles began to relax and Carol drew back to look into her eyes. Therese then felt soft kisses being peppered over her face and she had never felt safer in her life. She revelled in the feel of Carol’s lips on her skin. Her hand came up to stroke Carol’s cheek, brushing her blonde hair from her face. 

She wanted to touch Carol then, moving so she was half on top of her. Therese’s eyes never left Carol’s as she let her fingertips trail her collarbone along her shoulder and down her arm. She traced the lines of Carol’s palm before lifting her hand to her lips. She kissed each of Carol’s fingers delicately before placing a kiss on her palm. Carol let her hand move to cup Therese’s face and she closed her eyes. After a pause, Therese moved down so that she was on her side, at eye level with Carol’s stomach. Her fingertips feathered down the line of her stomach to her bellybutton where she circled around it over and over. She watched as Carol’s stomach rose and fell with easy laboured breaths. Her fingertips then glided across to the hollow of Carol’s hipbone, tracing the curves she found there. Her skin was so soft and Therese found herself entranced. She then placed slow, unhurried kisses along her other hipbone, moving further up until she reached her ribs. 

Therese then moved so she was above Carol and placed a kiss between her ribs, just below her breasts. And then she made the decent down Carol’s body, running her tongue along the line of her stomach. Therese nibbled at the softest part of Carol’s tummy before resting her head there. She felt the rise and fall of each breath. Carol ran her fingers affectionately through Therese’s hair then. The way Therese touched her so delicately with love made Carol brim with emotion. All of her past experiences with sex had been hurried and the focus had never been on her. But now, Therese was making love to her, to every inch of her and Carol felt beautiful. 

After a long moment, Therese brushed her face across her lower stomach before placing wet kisses down one thigh. She then moved to her other thigh and trailed back up until she came to where Carol’s thigh met her centre. Carol swayed her hips, now impatient as Therese’s lips were so close to where she needed her. Therese felt a rush of excitement swell within her in knowing Carol was aroused. 

Carol felt a puff of warm air against her centre and her legs fell open. Therese pressed a kiss to carol’s centre to find a pool of warmth against her lips. Therese lingered, caressing her folds with her lips before moving higher. Her lips brushed over Carol’s most sensitive spot before kissing it languorously. 

Carol began to shift impatiently under her. She wanted to tell Therese to stop teasing her but before she could speak, she felt her tongue flick over her. A moan developed in her throat and Therese decided to repeat the motion, agonizingly slowly. Another moan escaped Carol and Therese rewarded her with another languid sweep of her tongue. Carol felt herself losing all control as Therese teased her. Every time she moaned, Therese gave her what she so desperately needed and she soon found herself writhing against Therese, her moans intensifying. She didn’t care who heard them now. 

“Therese,” her voice was deep and breathless. “Please,” Carol pleaded desperately. She was very swollen and Therese took her sensitive bud between her lips and began to suckle. Carol’s hips lifted off the mattress as pleasure quickly mounted within her. She came suddenly, gasping Therese’s name as her body relaxed back onto the bed. Her breath came in sharp puffs and Therese looked up at her finally, seeing her flushed cheeks. 

Therese then crawled up to kiss her and Carol rolled her over so that they both lay on their sides. Her arm came around Therese’s waist as she looked into her eyes. Therese gazed back, finding herself unable to look away. Carol’s breathing soon became even and still their eyes did not part. Not a word was uttered between them and neither Carol nor Therese sought to look away. Therese had never felt so in love and so loved. Therese draped her arm around Carol’s waist and smiled warmly. Carol returned the smile and Therese felt a flutter in her stomach. After a long time, Therese’s eyes began to droop as Carol’s did. She would close her eyes, almost succumbing to sleep, only to open them again. 

“Turn off the light,” Carol finally said sleepily. Therese would have tried to stay up all night but Carol was more sensible than her. She reached up to the fairy lights above her bed and turned the switch off. The room darkened and Therese snuggled in even closer so that their bodies pressed together. Carol kissed the top of head making Therese feel warm inside. It was a warmth in her heart that filled her with happiness and content.


	8. Chapter 8

A loud thud awoke Therese from her peaceful slumber. Against her body she felt warmth and she stirred before realising that it was Carol. Carol was in her arms and suddenly it occurred to her that someone was at the door. She whipped the blankets over their heads. Her heart was racing. Another series of knocks clattered at the door and Therese looked at Carol, wide eyed. Carol was looking right at her with a smirk that made Therese relax a little. Maybe if they stayed very quiet, the person at the door would go away, Therese thought. She was still in half disbelief that Carol was in her bed and memories of the night before came flooding back. 

“Therese, you in there?” It was Dannie. 

“Shit,” Therese whispered and flipped the blankets off them. Carol looked at her in confusion. “It’s Dannie.” She said. Before Carol could speak, Therese had jumped out of the bed. She wrapped her towel around her body and went to the door. Before she opened it, she turned to see that Carol was hiding under the blankets once more. When she opened the door, Dannie was looking down at his phone. 

“Dannie, hey sorry, I was asleep.”

“Oh I thought you might have been there already. You’re not dressed yet.” He eyed her attire. 

“Something came up.” She tried not to sound suspicious but Dannie saw right through her façade. 

“And you want to take a rein check on our game?” He stated. 

“I’m sorry Dannie, how about this afternoon?”

“It’s cool. I guess I’ll see you later then,” he leaned in closer. “And you are going to tell me everything.”  
Bye Dannie,” she rolled her eyes and closed the door. 

“What was that about?” Carol’s low voice sounded behind her. She turned to see Carol on her side, her hand under her chin. Therese couldn’t take her eyes off her. The shape of her naked form underneath the sheets captured Therese’s attention.

“Oh nothing,” she dropped her towel and continued to look at Carol. “We were supposed to have a game of basketball this morning.” She stood coyly, not moving. “But I wasn’t feeling up to it,” she smiled at her and Carol raised an eyebrow. Her eyes moved over Therese’s body. 

“Well you better come back to bed.” Her voice was raspy from sleep and Therese could not resist her. She quickly walked back and crawled into bed under the covers, her head completely submerged. 

“What are you doing under there,” Carol asked sleepily as she lifted the sheets to find Therese smiling at her. 

“I don’t think I gave you a good morning,” she pressed a kiss to Carol’s bare chest. “And it is a very good morning,” she placed a kiss on her collarbone and then her neck. “Good morning,” she whispered, now at her ear and Carol sighed, pulling away to look at Therese. 

Without a word she pressed her lips to Therese’s and their bodies came together in an embrace. When she pulled away, Therese was looking at her and Carol smiled. Therese then smiled too, wanting never to leave Carol’s arms. 

The next hour was spent lazing in each other’s arms, neither having the intention of leaving. Fingertips lazily caressed bare skin as they shared a comfortable silence.

“Have you been with a woman before?” Therese asked. She had been curious to know. Carol glanced at Therese before answering. 

“One.” She was staring at the ceiling now. “It was years ago now.” Therese thought over her words for a moment. 

“Did you always know you liked women?”

Carol smiled, “You’re full of questions this morning aren’t you.”

“Sorry. I just want to know things about you.”

“Don’t be sorry.” There was a pause. “I think I always did, deep down. I never acted upon it until Abby.” Her hand caressed Therese’s arm slowly. 

“And Abby was your first?” Therese continued. A slight anxiety rose within her at the thought of Carol with another woman. 

“First woman yes. There were men before her. But enough of me.” Her hand moved up Therese’s arm before she began to stroke her hair. She then moved so she was on her side, looking down at Therese. 

“I broke up with Richard,” she admitted and Carol looked distant for a moment, as though she was looking right through her. “It would never have worked,” Therese looked down. 

“Not when I’m in love with someone else.” Her voice was quiet. When she glanced up again Carol was eyeing her deeply with affection and her heart stammered in her chest. 

“I love you,” Carol replied, and Therese pulled her down into a kiss that brimmed with emotion. When they finally parted, Carol looked serious. 

“We must keep this a secret,” her hand stroked Therese’s cheek. Therese nodded, looking into her eyes. She had had doubts as to whether Carol would want even to be with her but the look in Carol’s eyes told her otherwise. She could not bear it if Carol were to leave her, she thought. She was suddenly afraid that Carol would go, one day. What she didn’t know was that Carol was afraid too, afraid of many things that she couldn’t speak out loud. 

It was late that morning when they finally, and reluctantly, got out of bed. Carol had no spare clothes and so she wore the same outfit from yesterday. Therese pulled on a t-shirt and tights for her game with Dannie. Carol’s eyes ran over Therese from behind before she turned around. Therese smirked when she realised Carol had been eyeing her. 

“May I give you my number?” Carol asked, pulling out her phone. 

“Oh of course,” Therese started towards her phone that lay her bedside table. They exchanged numbers and then a long glance. 

“Well I have to go. Duty calls,” Carol smiled and walked to the door. “Call me,” she gave Therese a wink over her should before opening the door and leaving. Therese stood alone in her room, looking at the door. She felt giddy. She then looked down at her phone that now showed Carol’s number and she immediately wanted to call her. She refrained, locking her screen before flopping back down on her bed with a lingering smile. Her phone then buzzed and Therese quickly fumbled to look at it. 

It was Dannie. She sighed and read the message. He was telling her to meet her at the basketball courts as he was already there. Therese got up and packed a bag before heading down to the courts on campus. When she arrived she saw Dannie sitting on the bleaches, ball in hand.

“Took you long enough,” he tossed the ball at her and Therese caught it easily. She bounced the ball once before catching it and walked over to the bleachers. 

“Sorry about that,” she put her bag down and threw the ball back to Dannie. He caught it but almost fell in the process. Both Therese and Dannie laughed. 

“You, are going to tell me everything,” he said as they leisurely walked onto the courts. Therese looked at him innocently and Dannie threw the ball at her. She bounced the ball a few times before throwing it straight through the hoop. Dannie jogged to grab the ball and then bounced it as he ran circles around Therese. She eyed him before swiftly stealing it from under him and landing another shot in the hoop. 

“You gotta give me something Therese. I can see you’re just dying to tell me.” He travelled along the court and Therese’s eyes never left the ball. He zigzagged one way and the other and Therese lost him as he jumped up to land a ball in the hoop. Therese grabbed the ball and darted to the other side of the court and Dannie chased after her. 

“Yesterday, before we had class together, something happened between me and Carol,” she said, a little breathless. Dannie stole the ball before she could score. He stayed in one place, bouncing it over and over. 

“Tell me more,” he teased. Therese faked a frown and went straight for the ball but Dannie skidded out of the way before travelling to the other side of the court. Before he made it to the end, Therese managed to knock the ball from him. 

“We kissed,” she shouted, hurrying to get to the other side of the court. Dannie chased after her but she had already scored. 

“And?!” He yelled. Therese threw the ball at him. He was smiling. 

“And stuff,” she shrugged, but she could barely contain the smile that was forming on her lips. “But you can’t tell anyone,” she added sternly. 

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” he held his hand to his chest. 

“I’m serious Dannie, if this gets out Carol could lose her job.”

“Hey,” he began. “I promise.” He was serious now and Therese nodded. They continued to play for hours until Therese sat down on the court, exhausted. Sweat trickled down her face and her clothes were drenched. Dannie came to sit next to her as Therese took a long swig from her water bottle. 

“So, I know you and Richard aren’t on speaking terms,” he puffed, still catching his breath. “But this weekend there’s a big party on if you wanna come.” Therese immediately wondered if Richard would be there. Dannie sensed her disdain. “Richard won’t be there,” he added, taking a sip from his own water bottle. 

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to wait and see,” she said. 

“Ahh, plans with the hot teacher hmm?” He nudged her. Therese said nothing. She hadn’t made any plans for the weekend but she wanted to keep them open in case Carol wanted to see her. “Well let me know. As for now I’m meeting Emily so I better go get cleaned up.” He stood and grabbed the basketball. 

“Okay, well have fun. How is Emily anyway?” She suddenly remembered that she had been unwell yesterday. 

“She’s better today. Must have been a 24 hour thing. Anyway, later dude.”

“Bye Dannie,” she watched him leave before slowly walking to her bag. Her muscles were tight from all the running she had just done. She stuffed her water bottle into her bag and checked her phone. There was a message from Carol. Her heart stopped. It had been sent over an hour ago she noticed, as her eyes scanned the text.   
Meet me at my place at 6. 

Therese checked the time. It was now 4:30. Underneath the text was Carol’s address. She knew where it was, not far from campus, she noted. Therese didn’t own a car and she always got a lift with Richard if she needed to go anywhere. She’d have to ride her bike, she thought as she quickly walked back to campus to shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for you aweseome feedback! I really love reading all your replies and it really keeps me writing. I can now tell you there will be 12 chapters in total so stay tuned :)


	9. Chapter 9

Therese rode her bike along the sidewalk in the direction of Carol’s address. She still had half an hour before Carol wanted her to be there but she was never one for being late. She soared down a hill. She knew it would be a pain to climb back up later. The wind blustered in her face and she felt a rush of exhilaration and freedom flow through her. With the premise of seeing Carol she could never be unhappy. 

Therese came to a house that marked number 78. It was the address Carol had given her. The house was very large and Therese wondered suddenly if Carol was rich. The front lawn was very green and well-kept and there was a large tree out the front. The sun had just disappeared, leaving the air cool and Therese shivered. 

A car turned into the driveway and Therese looked up uncertainly before realising it was Carol’s car. She parked in the driveway before collecting her bag and stepping out. She began to walk to the front door before she spotted Therese over by the tree. 

“Oh you’re here already,” her eyes raked over Therese’s body. “Well come on,” she smiled and gestured for Therese to follow her. She silently followed Carol inside, taking in every detail of the exquisitely furnished house. Carol vanished into the kitchen immediately to get them some drinks. 

“It’s huge,” Therese spoke towards the kitchen, beholding the lounge room. There were photos of Carol and Rindy on the T.V. cabinet and Therese smiled. 

“I know. Ridiculously too big for myself and Rindy,” a voice came from the kitchen. Therese then saw a guitar sitting in the corner of the room. Carol had never mentioned that she played. She picked it up and sat on the floor, next to the lounge chair. Carol then came through the hall to find Therese inaudibly picking at the stings of the old guitar she hadn’t touched for years. It had been a present from Harge. Therese stopped playing when she noticed Carol was watching her. Carol handed her and drink and she took a sip. 

“Well, play me something,” Carol said expectantly, taking a sip from her drink. She sat down on the lounge chair. Therese blushed, growing shy. “You do play don’t you? Or was that a lie too?” She teased. 

Therese smiled before taking a breath. She began to play slowly. It was the song that had been on the radio the day Carol had taken her to lunch. Her voice then followed, very softly singing along and Carol eyed her with affection. 

“You, soft and only. You, lost and lonely. You, just like heaven,” she finished. The guitar rang out until the air was completely silent and Therese was still blushing. She then placed the guitar on the floor and took a long sip from her drink before looking at Carol. She sat on the couch with her feet to one side. Therese observed she seemed very far away once more but in an instant she came back to Therese. Her eyes found Therese’s with an intensity that rendered her breathless. She would have asked Carol what she had just been thinking of if it weren’t for the hand that then came under her chin. Carol leant her face down to pull Therese into a kiss. Therese immediately got up and climbed into Carol’s lap. She felt hands slip around her waist as they kissed. 

“Have you eaten?” Carol pulled away after a while. Therese’s mind was foggy and she didn’t understand the question at first. She opened her eyes to see Carol was smiling at her. 

“Hmm,” she thought for a moment, trying to remember when she had last eaten. “No.” 

-

Carol made a clattering noise in the kitchen followed by a curse word and Therese looked up from the pile of cd’s she was eyeing. She was listening to a compilation cd that comprised of songs from the 50s. She turned the player volume up slightly before walking over to the kitchen to see if Carol was okay. Whatever had been dropped wasn’t in sight anymore. Therese watched as Carol moved around the kitchen was grace. She wondered how a person could be so beautiful and so elegant.

Carol turned around to grab something from the fridge when she saw Therese in the corner of the room watching her. 

“How long have you been standing there?” She opened the refrigerator and pulled out some carrots and tomatoes. 

“Not long. Do you need some help?” She offered. Carol placed the vegetables down and took a deep breath. 

“You could chop these vegetables.” She pulled out a sharp looking knife. 

‘No Other Love’ began to play on the stereo, flowing through the house as Therese chopped the vegetables. She hadn’t really cooked much since being at college. A proper meal would do her good, she thought. She hummed along to the song merrily. 

“Could you grab out the salt? It’s just in that cupboard above you,” Carol asked. Therese opened the cupboard and eyed the containers until she found the one labelled ‘salt’. She stretched up on her toes but it was too high for her reach. Carol saw her struggling and came to stand behind her as she reached to grasp the salt. Therese could feel Carol pressed against her back and again she became breathless. 

Unable to refrain, Therese turned so that she was facing Carol. Her hand came to Carol’s waist, pulling them closer together and Carol almost dropped the salt. The sound of steaming water pulled them from each other’s eyes. The pot of pasta was boiling over and Carol rushed to turn down the heat. Therese found it ironic as she too felt like she would boil over at any moment. 

After Carol was sure the pasta wouldn’t boil over, she straightened and turned around. Therese watched her come towards her before she was dragged into a searing kiss. Therese felt her knees weaken. Her hands came up to Carol’s hair as she felt herself being pushed against the cupboards behind her. And then Carol pulled away, leaving Therese both breathless and wanting. She went back to the stove, stirring the sauce that would go with the pasta. Therese came to stand next to her, watching her hand grasp the spoon and the way her wrist twisted with each stir. 

“Try this,” Carol said, blowing on a spoonful of the red sauce. Therese parted her lips as Carol fed her the spoon. The flavours of the sauce found her tongue and she licked her lips. 

“Mmm it’s delicious.” Carol watched her lips for a moment before turning back to the food. 

When the food had been cooked, Carol dished each of them a plate and they sat at the table. 

“So tell me, what is it that you really dream of doing?” Carol glanced at Therese before taking a sip of her wine. Carol had asked her a similar question before but Therese felt light years away from who she was a few weeks ago. Therese swallowed a mouthful of food before she spoke. 

“I’ve always had this idea of wanting to have my very own art studio,” she admitted. “It probably sounds boring.” Therese supposed she seemed very predictable to Carol. 

“No not at all. An art studio is a very remarkable dream to aspire towards.” Therese wondered if she was making fun of her. She took another bite of her food. “You certainly have the talent for it,” Carol added and Therese had to smile then. She began to imagine all of the drawings of Carol that would line the walls of her studio. Everything she saw was Carol. 

Carol lit a cigarette after finishing her dinner and lazed back in her chair. Therese finished the rest of her wine and looked at her. 

“What about you? Is teaching all that you dream of doing?”

Carol laughed, “No.” A cloud of smoke flowed from her lips. “I mean don’t get me wrong I love watching students flourish into artists. The same thing every day can get a little tiring.” Her eyes became distant. “I’ll be honest when I found out Harge was trying to get full custody I almost gave it up.” She put out her cigarette. “They tell me there’s no way he will win,” she shrugged. And then abruptly, Carol stood and sauntered down the hall and Therese watched her incredulously. 

“Are you coming?” She stopped to look at Therese who still sat at the table. Carol waited until Therese was following her before she continued down the hall to her bedroom. She flicked on the light switch and let Therese enter first. Carol was behind her and she sighed, closing her eyes. Carol’s lips came to her ear as her right hand moved around Therese’s waist and down her stomach. Therese swayed weakly before turning around in search of Carol’s lips. 

Carol pushed Therese down onto the large bed situated in the middle of the room. Therese watched as Carol unbuttoned her white blouse, slipping it off her shoulders. She then removed her pants and underwear and Therese sat watching every move. Therese pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her stomach. And then her lips moved over Carol’s breasts as she took a nipple between her lips. 

Carol sighed, lifting her fingers to stroke Therese’s hair. She felt Therese’s lips find her other breast and a whimper escaped her. Therese then pulled away and stood to undress. Carol sat down on the bed and Therese came to straddle her lap. The only thing Therese could think about was Carol. Carol’s hands on her hips, dragging them closer. Carol’s hands moving up her spine and over her breasts. And Carol’s hand moving over her stomach and down between her legs. Her breath hitched as Carol entered her, her fingers remaining stationary. 

Therese began to sway her hips as the tension built within her until Carol moved so she was on top of Therese. Therese’s breath came in puffs as she looked into Carol’s eyes. Her hand moved between them and Carol sighed as she felt Therese’s fingers move inside her. Their eyes never left each other as they began to move in unison. Carol continued to watch Therese even as her eyes closed, her fingers scraping along her back. 

When Therese finally opened her eyes Carol was looking down at her. She wanted so much to tell Carol how much she loved her but words so often failed her. Instead she poured her heart out to Carol with her lips and with her fingers. With each kiss was a promise and each touch a proposal that she would always love Carol. 

Her face rested against Carol’s stomach as they both relaxed. Her head rose and fell with every breath Carol took and she felt safe. Carol also felt a safety that Therese had given her. Therese traced patterns up and down her stomach and Carol savoured every touch. Therese then breathed in with a lazy smile, missing Carol’s lips.   
She came to lie next to Carol, stealing a small kiss. Carol then returned her with another kiss, one that lingered with lips brushing over each other’s. 

“Do you believe in fate,” Therese asked, breaking the long silence that had been building between them. Carol searched Therese’s eyes. In that moment she would believe in anything if Therese told her. 

“I don’t know,” she said. She had never believed in such things but somehow Therese made her believe and in a way it scared her. Not another word was uttered as they continued to watch each other, inches apart. It was as though something had lifted between them and now they were even closer than before.


	10. Chapter 10

It was half past eight when Therese and Carol finally left the house. Carol had made them scrambled eggs with coffee and Therese had begun to wash the dirty dishes after they ate. Somewhere along the way Therese had gotten distracted by Carol and the dishes had been forgotten. If it weren’t for the fact that Carol had a morning class, Therese would have had her undressed and back in bed. The dish water had gone cold by the time Carol had insisted she finished getting ready. Therese reran the water as Carol disappeared down the hall. The house had a dishwasher but Therese was used to washing her dishes by hand. Besides, there were only a few dishes to clean, she had told Carol. 

“When will I see you?” Carol came down the hall, head tilted to one side as she put in an earring. Therese dried her hands as she glanced at Carol. Her lips were now red and her hair pinned back off her face. Her blonde hair fell just past her shoulders. 

“Well I was planning on going to the studio sometime to work on my project,” she said, remembering that she was falling behind. She also desperately needed to study for exam but that could wait, she told herself. 

“I have a class in the lecture theatre first thing but I’ll be there at midday.” She came to stand in front of Therese. She silently wished she could spend all day with Carol. It always seemed something was interrupting them and dragging them away from each other. Therese knew Carol had a class at midday but she was happy even to see her in passing. Therese could smell the perfume Carol had just applied and she immediately wanted to lean in to press her lips to her exposed neck. Carol noticed the expression on Therese’s face and she grinned. 

“We should be going,” Carol left her side and pulled her handbag over her shoulder. Therese quickly followed behind her as they walked to her car. She stood watching Carol expectantly. She didn’t want to say goodbye yet but she also didn’t want to make Carol late. 

“Bye,” Carol said after a beat. Therese heart leapt in her chest, already missing Carol. She stood up on her toes and gave her a quick kiss. 

“Bye,” she replied softly, looking down. Carol smiled at her and lifted her hand to Therese’s face. Her thumb brushed over Therese’s lip, causing her heart to flutter. She had noticed some of her red lipstick had stained hers lips. Then, without a word, Carol got into her car. Therese watched as she reversed out of the driveway. Before she drove away, Carol waved to her and Therese smiled, lifting her hand to wave back. And then Carol’s car disappeared down the road and she trudged over to her bike which still leant against the tree. 

It took Therese almost half an hour to ride back to campus. The hill she had so easily rode down yesterday was nearly impossible to climb and so she walked her bike up it instead. She passed Carol’s car in the campus car park and smiled. The past week had been like a dream and Therese found it easy to let herself be happy. She set her bike into the racks before making her way to her dorm, cutting through the campus park where people were playing with a football on the green grass. Therese observed the people who lay studying with laptops and then a girl who sat by herself, leaning against a tree. So often she found herself feeling like just an observer of the world around her and that she herself didn’t really exist. Of course she knew she existed, but somehow not in the same way everyone else interacted with the world. But now she had found Carol and it had made her more alive than before. It was as though she finally shared a secret that the rest of the world already knew about and had finally let her in on. She didn’t feel alone anymore. 

Therese collected her bag before heading down to the art studio. There was only one other student in the room when she arrived and she quickly got stuck into finishing her work. It was around half past ten when a familiar voice pulled her from her concentration. She jumped in her chair, having being startled. It was Richard. 

“What are you doing here?” She frowned, putting down her paintbrush. Richard glanced at her painting and then at her. 

“I needed to see you, to apologise.”

“Richard, you don’t need to apologise. It’s over.” Therese dreaded whatever it was Richard wanted from her. 

“That’s just it. Is it really?”

“Yes!” She added, more harshly than she had intended. Richard put his hand down onto her desk and Therese leant away from him. 

“Terry,” his voice was soft. “I miss you.” His eyes pleaded with Therese but she had little sympathy for him. 

“I’m sorry Richard, I don’t love you.” She suddenly remembered the other person across the room from them and lowered her voice. 

“Did you break up with me for that teacher?” He crossed his arms now. Therese felt the blood drain from her face. 

“What? No!” She was almost angry he had even mentioned her. 

“Because ever since she came to town you have been acting strange. And the drawings-“

“Richard! It had nothing to do with Carol. Why don’t you just leave me alone,” she yelled, forgetting again they were not alone. Richard put his hands up in defeat as Therese glared at him. 

“Fine. Have a great life Terry,” he said, rushing out the door. Therese glanced over to the girl who was working on a sculpture. She seemed to have not been paying attention and Therese went back to her painting. 

She didn’t get far before pulling her phone out with a sigh to message Dannie. She asked him if he had said anything to Dannie about her and Carol. It didn’t take long for Dannie to reply, insisting he hadn’t even said anything to Richard about her at all. Therese ran her fingers through her hair. She believed Dannie wouldn’t say anything and felt silly for even asking. 

Carol arrived at exactly midday and Therese had become more and more impatient for her. Carol smiled at her from across the room and Therese smiled back at her. Students began to shuffle into the class and Therese packed her belongings into her bag. 

“This is my seat dude,” a monotone voice spoke next to her and she pried her eyes from Carol. 

“Oh sorry, I was just leaving,” she said, glancing at the boy who stood by her desk. He looked like he was as high as a kite and Therese moved from the desk, pulling her bag onto her shoulder. Therese stepped out of the classroom before turning around to eye Carol. Carol looked at her for a long moment before a student caught her attention. Seeing that she was busy, Therese started towards her dorm room, determined to study. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out of her pocket. It was from Carol. 

'Miss you.' 

Therese smiled, reading the words twice before replying. 

'I miss you too x.' 

She stared at her message for far too long before finally hitting send. 

When she got to her dorm, her door was slightly ajar. She cautiously pushed it open, her heart racing. She was sure she had locked her door. She stood in the doorway, her eyes wide. 

“I knew it!” Richard said, in his hands a drawing of Carol. It was the one she had drawn of Carol the night she had stayed over. The night they had made love. “You’re sleeping with her aren’t you!”

“You’re delusional Richard,” she swallowed, trying to hide her emotions. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. All this time you’d been with her and I had no idea.”

“You have no proof.” She lurched forward to snatch the drawing from his hands. She turned away from him, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to form. 

“So it’s true, isn’t it.” He sounded defeated and Therese sat down her bed looking at the drawing. 

“It’s none of your business. I think you should leave.” Richard looked at Therese, deep in thought for a moment before storming out of the room, slamming the door. She took a deep breath before bursting into tears. She was upset and confused and she wondered how Richard found out. 

Therese wiped her eyes before calling Dannie. She told him what had happened and he insisted on coming over. Half an hour later he arrived with a six pack and take-out. When   
Therese saw him, she burst into tears again and Dannie rushed to her side. 

“I’m sorry Therese,” he said, letting her rest her head on his chest. She sniffled and put her arm around him. 

“How did he find out? The only person I told was you.” She sat up. 

“I swear I didn’t say a thing. He must have guessed it somehow.” Dannie opened two beers and gave one to Therese. “It probably has something to do with this,” he smiled, looking at the drawing of Carol. Therese snatched the drawing from him and his expression became serious. She took a long swig before wiping her mouth. Her eyes were puffy and red. “I’ll talk to Richard okay. See if he won’t say anything.” 

“Thank you Dannie,” she sighed. Somehow he made her feel safer now, as though because he said so, things would be okay. They finished there drinks, talking for hours before Dannie finally left. That night she tried to sleep but her thoughts kept her awake. Every possible scenario played over in her mind and twisted her insides until she felt sick.


	11. Chapter 11

Therese slowly awoke to the sound of birds chirping. As her senses came back to her she realised the noise was her phone ringing and she fumbled around in her sheets to find where it was. Her hand slipped across her sheets and she heard a thump against the wooden floor. 

“Shit,” she groaned sleepily, peeking her head over the bed to snatch her phone off the floor.

“Hello?” she answered, rubbing her eyes. 

“Therese, hello,” the smooth voice ran through her and she immediately sobered. 

“Carol,” she paused, sitting up in her bed. “What’s up?” 

“Well, I was wondering, tonight, if you’d like to come over. Rindy will be with me,” she paused. “And Abby.”

“I, uhh,” Therese thought for a moment, her brain foggy from sleep. “Isn’t Abby-”

“I didn’t tell you we were still friends?”

No, no you didn’t, Therese wanted to say. Before she could say anything Carol continued. 

“Well I think you’ll quite like her.”

“Well, alright.”

“Excellent,” Carol sounded pleased. “I’ll pick you up at six?”

“No,” Therese said too quickly, remembering that Richard knew about them now. “No, I’ll ride,” she added more softly. She wasn’t sure how she should tell Carol and it began chewing at her insides again. 

“Therese,” Carol said, as if about to ask a question but she said nothing more and Therese sat listening on the other end. “I’ll see you later then,” she finally said and Therese sighed in relief. 

“Bye.” Therese hung up her phone and looked at the time. She was shocked to see that she had slept past midday. She hadn’t slept very well the night before and she still felt tired. The same pang of jealousy she had felt the first time Carol had told her about Abby flared back. Not only was she worried about what Richard would do, but she now had to see Carol’s ex-girlfriend that night. 

Therese spent the next five hours studying for her history exam. For the past month she had completely neglected her study and now she only had three days left to cram. She sat on her bed with a dozen tabs open on her laptop and textbooks sprawled out over her sheets. She quickly delved into writing down notes that she intended to go through tomorrow. By filling her brain with random facts and names of deceased artists, Therese managed to take her mind off her current predicament. 

It wasn’t until 5p.m that Therese’s stomach grumbled loudly and she realised how late it was. Deciding she needed a shower, Therese went to the bathroom to clean up. She desperately needed to wash her laundry but that would have to wait. She threw on the only clean clothes she could find; jeans and a t-shirt. She made a note to buy some nicer clothes. Maybe she would try for the part-time job at the art gallery that Dannie had been insisting she applied for. 

Therese packed a few overnight items into her backpack and set out to ride to Carol’s place. She felt much different from the last time she had rode to Carol’s. Today she felt anxious and full of worry about the future. She worried about how Carol would react to finding out that Richard knew. She dreaded meeting Abby, the only other woman that Carol had slept with. What if Abby hated her? What if she hated Abby? All of these things felt like a threat to Therese, to her relationship with Carol. She did not want to lose Carol.   
Therese leaned her bike against the same tree as she had days ago before mustering the courage to walk to Carol’s front door. She knocked twice on the screen, looking inside. 

“You must be Therese.” A woman opened the door and smiled at Therese. 

“Yes,” she looked over the woman’s features. She had brown eyes and hair that came to her shoulders. “You must be Abby,” Therese said politely before looking past her instinctively. 

“Oh Carol’s in the kitchen making some drinks,” Abby said, raising her eyebrows playfully. “Come in!” Abby walked back inside first and Therese followed, taking a seat on a lounge chair. 

“So, Carol has told me little about you,” she looked at Therese expectantly. 

“Well, there isn’t much to tell.” Therese became self-conscious, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

“I very much doubt that.” Abby pulled out a cigarette and offered one to Therese. Therese took it and leaned in as Abby lit the cigarette between her lips. Therese looked around   
the room nervously, escaping Abby’s prying eyes. 

“Well I study art at the college.” She glanced at Abby who as still eyeing her. 

“An artist,” a wide smiled suddenly formed on her lips. “No wonder she likes you.”

“Well,” Therese flushed, looking away again. 

“What have you been saying to my poor Therese,” Carol said as she appeared from down the hall with a tray of drinks. Therese immediately looked up at Carol. She wanted to embrace her but Abby’s excruciating gaze held her still.

“Nothing! I swear,” Abby took the tray from Carol’s hands and took a drink for her own. Carol eyed her with mock suspicion before taking a seat in between Therese and Abby. Carol then turned to Therese and smiled, handing her a drink. Therese wanted to press her lips to Carol’s but instead she took a sip from the glass in her hand.

“Why don’t I believe that,” Carol replied, still looking at Therese. Her blue eyes moved over her lips, lingering for a moment before turning back to Abby. Therese found herself looking at the back of Carol’s head before she leaned forward to look at both Abby and Carol. Abby smirked playfully before downing the rest of her drink. 

“I think we need some music.” Abby stood and walked to the stereo, rifling through a stack of CD’s. “What kinda music do you like Therese?”

“Oh anything really,” Therese said. She watched the way Abby moved and the way she held herself. She was far more confident than herself. She felt as though she were incompetent in comparison. She then felt fingers slip in between her own Therese smiled, looking down at their hands interlaced. 

“Oh c’mon everyone has a taste in music,” Abby’s gestured in the air, a CD still in her fingers. Abby then placed a CD into the player and turned it up. She looked at Carol mischievously as Nirvana started to blast through the speakers. Carol then started laughing and Therese wondered what was so funny. 

“Remember when-“

“Yes. How could I forget,” Carol said, watching as Abby began to dance to the heavy music. Therese looked at Abby and then at Carol, unable to stop herself from smiling. The way Abby danced had Carol in hysterics. Her arms moved from side to side in ridiculous motions and her legs jerked up and down. 

“Back when we were teenagers,” Carol tried to catch her breath as Abby kept dancing. “Abby dragged me to a nirvana concert. Little did I know how terrible she was at dancing.”

“Hey! I didn’t drag you.” Abby came so she was in front of Carol, pulling her up out of the chair. “Back in our day Carol was a little punk.” Abby began to dance Carol’s arms. Therese stared wide eyed, smiling at Carol awkwardly dancing. She could not imagine her going to a Nirvana concert. Before she could say anything, Carol pulled her up into her arms. She then twirled her around and Therese began to giggle. 

“There’s no way you used to be a punk,” Therese said, now dancing along to the music. Her hair flowed from side to side. 

“Hey I used to be cool too,” Carol said, and Therese looked up to see Carol eyeing her seductively. She had kindled a flame inside of Therese and her expression became serious. Therese then turned away from Carol to see that Abby was lost in her wild dance moved. She let out a giggle before she felt Carol pull her hips backwards against her. She felt the warmth of her against her back. Carol’s hands ghosted up her form and up her arms, raising them into the air. Her fingertips brushed against Carol’s as she moved her hips gently, swaying to the music. She then spun around to steal a kiss from Carol, letting her hands fall around her shoulders. Carol’s hands slipped down to her waist and returned her with a passionate kiss before slowly pulling away. Therese swayed forward with her eyes closed, silently wishing for another kiss. When she finally opened her eyes, Carol was watching her affectionately. 

“Aunt Abby!” A small voice chimed and Therese then saw Rindy across the room. She skipped over to where Abby was dancing before finally jumping up and down. 

“Hey kiddo.” Abby slowed her wild movements to hold onto Rindy’s upstretched hands. Therese watched the two dance together. Over the loud music she could hear Rindy’s shrill laughter. 

“I’m getting another drink,” Carol spoke softly in her ear and Therese shivered. Carol’s finger’s brushed over her cheek as she left and Therese smiled at the floor. Therese then sat down on the chair as she observed the two who continued to dance. It seemed as though they had boundless energy. She was proven wrong when Abby plonked down on the couch beside her. 

“Not as fit as I used to be,” she puffed. Rindy came to sit in between them. She looked at Therese for a moment and she wondered if Rindy remembered her from the other week. 

“Hello Rindy,” she smiled. “Do you remember me?”

“Uhuh,” she nodded. “We went on the Ferris Wheel!” Rindy lifted her hands to make a big ‘O’ shape. 

“Did you have fun on the Ferris Wheel?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Can we go on again?” 

“Sadly the carnival only comes once a year. Because it’s very special.”

“Oh.” Rindy looked down. “We can go next year then!” She looked up at Therese hopefully. 

“Well,” She hesitated, looking at Abby for a moment. “If you’d like, yes.” Abby smiled at her and Therese felt she had said the right thing. 

“I want to go on all the rides with you. Mommy says I’m not old enough yet.”

“Maybe next year you will be. If you grow up tall.”

“Tall like Mommy?” Rindy stood up on the couch, pretending to suddenly have grown. 

“Maybe even taller,” Abby suddenly piped in. 

“Rindy what are you doing with your feet on the couch?” Carol scolded, coming into the lounge room with more drinks. Rindy squealed and quickly jumped down onto Therese’s lap, curling into a ball. The sound of muffled giggled could be heard and Carol could only smile. The sight of Rindy and Therese together filled her with affection. 

“You seem to have lost a Rindy,” Therese joked and Rindy held in another snicker.

“Oh no, how terrible.” Carol placed the drinks down and sat next to Therese. “Oh and you seem to have grown a dreadful lump on your stomach.” Carol poked at Rindy’s back and Rindy squealed, wiggling against Therese. 

“Maybe Carol got you pregnant,” Abby snorted, taking a sip of the drink Carol had made her. Carol playfully hit Abby’s arm in reply. Rindy then popped up as if surprise everyone that she was in fact, not a lump on Therese’s stomach. 

“Oh! There she is!” Carol pulled Rindy into her lap, stroking the hair from her face. “So how’d your date go with that redhead?”

“Well, her name’s Tiffany,” Abby began, spilling every detail about how the date had gone. Therese found herself beginning to like Abby. Perhaps it was the playfulness in her voice with everything she spoke. Or maybe it was the fact she now knew that Abby was no threat to her and Carol’s relationship. All this time she had been so worried about Abby that she never stopped to think that maybe she would like her. They continued to chatter until Carol decided it was time to put Rindy to bed. She had fallen asleep on Carol’s lap and somehow managed to sleep through all their laughter. When Carol came back she found both Therese and Abby on the floor playing Mortal Kombat. They didn’t even notice that Carol was behind them. 

“Oh you are so dead!” Abby yelled, mashing the buttons of the controller. 

“In your dreams!” Therese was focusing on the screen in front of her but a smile played on her lips. 

“Fuck! Damnit.” Abby grunted, throwing the controller next to her. 

“I told you I was the master of Mortal Kombat,” Therese said smugly. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone beat you before,” Carol piped in and both Therese and Abby turned to look at her. 

“Yeah yeah don’t rub it in.” Abby finished her drink and flopped onto the couch, looking at her phone. Therese turned off the television. 

“Guys I’m gonna head off,” Abby then said, a smile on her face. 

“What are you up to?” Carol raised an eyebrow. 

“What aren’t I up to,” Abby replied smugly, grabbing her handbag. “I’ll talk to you later.” Carol and Therese walked Abby to the front door. “It was nice to meet you Therese.” 

“You too,” Therese said before Carol closed the door. And then Carol was against her, pressing Therese’s back to the door. A rush of excitement came over Therese as Carol’s lips pressed against her own. Her whole body felt weak as Carol lustfully kissed her. When Carol finally released her Therese was breathless. 

“I could barely keep my hands off you,” Carol whispered. Therese looked into Carol’s eyes before leading her straight to her bedroom. She watched as Carol began to take out her earrings one by one and then her necklace. The words Carol had spoken played over in her mind as she leant against the end of Carol’s bed. That Carol wanted her, wanted to touch her and hold her, was still foreign to Therese. 

“I can’t keep my eyes off you,” Therese suddenly said. “Like I’m going mad or something,” she looked down at the quilt that covered the bed. Her fingers traced the pattern, distracting herself from the words she had just admitted. She then felt hands on either side of her face and when she looked up, Carol was right in front of her. Her eyes held an emotion that Therese couldn’t quite fathom. Her lips moved forward until they brushed over Therese’s, soft and unrushed. 

“Is everything okay?” Carol finally asked. Therese felt her body fill with anxiety once more at the question. She sighed and walked to the other side of the room, away from Carol. 

“Richard knows,” was all she could manage to say, her voice weak. She hated how weak her voice could sound at times, like a child. There was a long silence that felt like an eternity to Therese before Carol replied. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Therese didn’t dare turn around. She couldn’t bear to see the look on Carol’s face and she feared if she did look at her, she would break down. 

“You were in such a good mood,” Therese shook her head. “I was afraid.”

“You should have told me as soon as you found out. Do you think he’ll say anything?” Carol’s voice was harsh. 

“I don’t know.” Therese’s voice broke and a tear finally fell from her cheek. Carol was immediately at her side, pulling her into her arms. Therese began to sob but Carol lifted her chin to look into eyes. She had been so afraid to look into Carol’s eyes but now they held only love and warmth. Carol then tucked a wet strand of hair behind Therese’s ear.

“I’m sorry,” Therese whispered, wanting to look away but Carol held her there. 

“Don’t apologise,” Carol said softly, wiping a tear from Therese’s cheek. Her lips then came down to kiss her gently and they lingered for a long moment before Therese desperately wrapped her arms around Carol. She sniffled against the collar of Carol’s shirt and slowly, Carol began to stroke Therese’s back. 

Not another word was spoken as Therese backed away, taking off her shirt and then her jeans. Carol watched her for a moment before moving to kiss her once more with passion. And soon they moved to Carol’s bed, only speaking with kisses and the way their bodies moved together. It was in the way she kissed her and the way her hands moved over her that she expressed how much she needed Carol and how she was so afraid of losing her. 

And when their bodies finally stilled and their breath came in even puffs, Therese still lay awake in Carol’s arms. 

“Go to sleep,” Carol mumbled, surprising Therese. She had thought Carol had fallen asleep long ago. 

“I can’t sleep,” Therese said, pulling herself even closer against Carol, squeezing her for a moment. And then as if knowing her thoughts, Carol began to rub her hand along Therese’s back in long circles, lulling her to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Therese awoke with a smile, stretching out under the covers. Her hand patted the bed beside her before she realised that Carol wasn’t there. With a frown she opened her eyes to the morning light that peered in through the window. Therese sat up and rubbed her face. There were no signs of Carol in the room and her clothes had been neatly folded on the bedside table. She quickly dressed and fixed her sleep fuzzed hair before quietly walking down the hall. She was greeted with an alert looking Rindy stirring the dining room table. It had been a long time since Therese had ever been enthusiastic about waking up early. She supposed it was a product of youthfulness.   
Therese peered into the kitchen to find Carol buzzing around the stove. From the corner of her eye Carol spotted Therese and she turned to smile at her. 

“Good morning.” Carol dropped what she was doing at the stove and came to place a soft kiss on Therese’s lips that lingered for a moment before Therese pulled away. She felt somewhat self- conscious of the fact that Rindy was across the room but when she saw that Carol was at ease, Therese relaxed too. 

“Good morning!” Rindy chirped and Therese turned to see her climb down from her chair and totter over to them. 

“Good morning Rindy,” Therese said just before Rindy surprised her with a hug. Her arms wrapped around Therese’s legs. “Oh!” Therese smiled down at Rindy before looking up at Carol who was watching the two of them embrace. 

“You two go sit down,” Carol said, heading back to the stove to dish up breakfast. Rindy walked by Therese’s side as they went to sit at the table. 

“We’re going to the park today,” Rindy said, playing with her Barbie doll at the table. “Are you coming with us?” Therese glanced up to see Carol coming to the table with food. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. She didn’t want to impose and wasn’t even sure if Carol wanted her there. 

“You’re welcome to come,” Carol said, sitting down at the table. She set down Rindy’s plate and then took a bite of her own food. “Would you? Like to come?” She looked up at Therese who was directly across the table from her. 

“Pleeease,” Rindy begged, and Therese had to smile at the expression on the small girls face. 

“Well alright,” Therese said, taking a bite of food. 

“Yayyy!” Rindy bouced, even more excited than she had been before. Carol seemed to be pleased too. 

-

They drove in relative silence to the park which wasn’t far from Carol’s house. Therese gazed out the window, watching the suburban houses roll by and the children playing in the streets. As a child she had always dreamed of living in one of those nice neighbourhoods. To her they had happy childhoods with loving parents and friends to play with every day. She wondered how different she would be now if she had of grown up in a house like Carol’s instead of the tiny worn down building that she had spent part of her childhood in.   
Therese was pulled from her thoughts when the car came to a stop in front of a large park. Therese soon found herself being dragged onto the playground by Rindy’s hand. She looked back at Carol helplessly but Carol only laughed and sat down on the bench at the edge of the park.

Therese found herself in a sea of children squealing and laughing and Rindy chattering to her. Rindy wanted to play a game where she was older and she also had a child. Therese played along and did as Rindy told her. All the while Carol watched from across the park. After Rindy got bored, she lugged Therese to the set of swings. Rindy insisted that she push her higher and higher until another little girl came and sat on the swings opposite her. She started talking to the girl whose name was Anna and Therese decided to leave them to play. Therese crossed the park to the bench Carol was seated on. 

“Looks like you were having fun,” Carol said as Therese plonked down on the bench. She automatically let her side lean against Carol. “How do you feel about ice cream?” Carol asked, slipping her fingers between Therese’s as she observed her profile. 

“I love ice-cream,” Therese said, watching Rindy play on the swings. She could tell that Carol was looking at her. She had a lot on her mind about Richard and about how they would make things work. She wanted to ask Carol about all these things but she didn’t have the words. Instead she squeezed Carol’s hand. She knew they had a lot to talk about and Therese felt so unsure. The only thing she was sure of was the fact that she loved Carol. More than anything she loved Carol.

Therese then finally turned to gaze at Carol but she was now looking at someplace in the distance and Therese found herself watching Carol’s eyes. They were lighter than she’d ever seen them before; in the sunlight they were almost grey. She noticed the light tips of Carol’s eyelashes, seemingly longer now and her blonde hair which curled at the ends seemed lighter in the sun. Her eyes then left Carol’s hair to the skin along her cheekbones that held an undertone of pink. She noted the curve of her cheeks that led down to her lips and Therese found herself unable to look away from them, remembering the way those lips kissed her and the way they had felt brushed over her skin and over her most sensitive places. And then her eyes left Carol’s lips to trace the line of her jaw and the way her throat curved downwards. Therese placed a singular kiss on her jaw then and Carol looked to see the expression of adoration in Therese’s eyes.

Without any words spoken, Carol returned her with a soft kiss pressed to her temple and the gesture itself spoke of more than any ‘I love you’ that either could offer. Therese felt the corner of her lip pull upward and in that moment she destined herself to forever love Carol. How could she ever love anyone but Carol?

Therese enjoyed the comfortable silence between them and she didn’t mind that she was spending her morning in a park with children because she was spending it with Carol. Rindy was very reluctant to leave the park until Carol told her they would be getting ice-cream.

“Can I have two scoops?” Rindy asked from the backseat as they drove to the ice-cream parlour. It was the same parlour she had sometimes went to with her old friends when she was still at school. The place held a lot of memories for her.

“We’ll see,” Carol replied, a tone of amusement in her voice.

The three crossed the street and entered the shop. It had been there since the early 50s and Therese loved the feel of the place. It was as if one was taken back in time as soon as you stepped in the door. They walked to the front counter to order and Rindy took a long time to decide what flavour she wanted.

“Well I’ll have a chocolate caramel swirl,” Therese said when Rindy still hadn’t made up her mind.

“I’ll have that too,” Rindy finally said and Therese smiled down at her and then at Carol.

“I think you have a fan,” Carol said, smiling back at Therese. “Make that three chocolate caramel swirls please,” she said to the shop keeper and Therese blushed at the wink Carol then gave her. The three then found a booth to sit in and Rindy insisted on sitting next to Therese. Underneath the table Therese felt Carol’s foot press her own and Therese smiled, looking up at Carol as she licked her ice cream. Carol then raised an eyebrow.

Carol’s phone buzzed and she dug around in her purse to find it. Therese gazed out the window of the store, only half listening to the conversation Carol was having over the phone.

“I see,” there was a long silence. “Of course.” Carol’s voice had turned solemn and Therese turned to look at her. She appeared distant and Therese began to worry. “Okay bye.” She hung up, looking at the table for a moment before realising Therese was eyeing her.

“What is it?” Therese finally asked, feeling anxiety rise within her.

“That was the board,” Carol seemed cold now and Therese knew without asking what the conversation had been about. She looked at her with wide eyes, silently cursing Richard, cursing herself for ever knowing him.

“And?” she swallowed, not wanting to know the answer.

“And I have an interview on Monday. To review my conduct.” The ice cream had started to melt down Carol’s hand but she didn’t notice. “They didn’t say much more. I’ll find out more on Monday.” She sighed, looking anywhere but at Therese.

Rindy, completely oblivious to the situation, continued to eat her ice cream while Therese and Carol sat in silence. It wasn’t the same pleasant silence they had shared earlier. It was full of anxiety and worry, at least it felt so to Therese.

The drive back to Carol’s house was just a silent and Therese tried to find the words to say. She had questions but the answers she feared stopped her from speaking. It wasn’t until they had got back to the house that Therese broke the silence.

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” Therese said as she watched Rindy walk into the house to play with her collection of dolls.

“Therese, this is not your fault,” Carol replied, both of them standing in the doorway of Carol’s house.

“I should have listened,” Therese said under her breath, watching as Rindy played. She knew what this would mean for Carol and Rindy. They were words she hadn’t spoken but she knew. And she knew how much Rindy meant to Carol. Now that their secret had gotten out, it would not look good for the custody case that Harge had thrust upon Carol. Therese knew all of this and that was why she had been so afraid.

“Maybe,” Therese took a breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a while.” The words she didn’t want to hear escaped her own lips. If someone saw them together it would only make things worse, Therese knew.

“Maybe.” Carol seemed cold once more. “At least until we know what’s going on,” she added and Therese felt her heart drop. The emotions she had been holding in threatened to overcome her. Her eyes grew watery as she nodded, looking at Carol once more before turning away to walk down the porch steps. Carol moved to stop her but there was nothing to say. If she stayed any longer she wouldn’t be able to hold herself together. She didn’t want Carol to see the tears that were then streaming down her face as she mounted her bike and rode down the path.

When she was finally clear of Carol’s house she let the first sob escape her. Tears flooded her vision as she rode back to campus but she didn’t care. She didn’t care if something were to accidently happen to her. But nothing did happen to her and Therese found herself back at her dorm, curled up in a heap on her bed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have finally got around to posting a new chapter after having A LOT of people telling me to get my ass into gear. Another thing I'd like to mention is I've just realised the different spelling Australia has to America. I promise I'm not illiterate (or maybe just a little)

It was later that day when Dannie came to her dorm room. Therese had been listening to her music with headphones in and hadn’t heard him enter her room. She was lying on her bed, staring up at plain white the ceiling. Dannie could hear the music blasting out of her headphones and he shook his head, coming to stand beside Therese’s bed. 

“You’re gonna go deaf,” he said loudly, waving his hand above her face. Therese almost jumped up when she saw him, hastily sitting up. She pulled her headphones off, barely making eye contact with him. Dannie then saw that her eyes were red and puffy. 

“Therese? You okay?” His tone softened as he sat down on the bed next to her. Therese took a deep breath, wishing she had the strength to keep it together. She wanted to tell him that she was fine but as soon as she looked Dannie in the eyes, another sob escaped her. She couldn’t hold it in and it was clear to both Dannie and herself that she was far from okay. 

“Hey, hey,” Dannie said, pulling her into his arms awkwardly. “What happened?” He asked, and Therese began to cry harder and Dannie felt bad for asking. Therese squeezed Dannie’s arm before taking a deep breath, trying to calm down. She felt embarrassed for breaking down in front of him.

“Richard,” she managed to say between breaths, squeezing Dannie’s arm again more out of anger. Dannie was silent for a moment, piecing together what had happened. 

“That fuckhead,” he clenched his jaw. Dannie held Therese until she had calmed down more, drawing herself from his arms. There was a wet patch left on his shoulder. She wiped the hairs that clung to her face out of her eyes off before sniffling. 

“I feel so stupid,” she said weakly, looking down at the floor. She had been crying on and off all afternoon but it hadn’t brought her any relief. Over-analysing the situation hadn’t solved any of her problems yet all she could do was think. She felt helpless. 

“You’re not stupid Therese,” he said, squeezing her shoulder and Therese took another breath. 

“Ugh I’m sorry,” she shook her head, as though she could shake away her grief. “What did you come to see me about?” 

“Oh, I was going to see if you wanted to come to the party tonight,” Dannie shrugged. “But you totally don’t have to. We could stay in and watch movies or something,” he suggested. 

“Thanks Dannie. I think I just need to be alone tonight. You should go have fun,” she nudged him. Dannie gave her a concerned look. “I’ll be fine!” She insisted, knowing she probably wouldn’t be fine. Right now she just wanted to be alone. 

“Well alright,” he stood. “But if you need anything let me know okay?” He put his hand on her shoulder. 

“Okay.”

“Okay. Well I’ll see you on Monday? You nervous for the big test?”

“My mind’s sort of been on other things. I guess I’ll have to cram tomorrow.”

“You and me both,” he exhaled and then smirked. “Well I’ll leave you alone. Bye Therese.”

“Bye,” she said as Dannie left her room. She sat on her bed staring at nothing in particular for a moment as the silence overtook the room and she suddenly felt immensely lonely.   
Therese found herself travelling down the hall, chasing after Dannie. After a split decision she had decided she that she didn’t want to be alone. Maybe the party would do her some good. Dannie smiled when he saw her. 

“Decided to come after all?” He said, looking down at her shoes which were only half on her feet. Therese only nodded and bent down to fix her shoes up. 

“But there better be some beer there, or wine,” she replied.

“Of course,” he said obviously before giving Therese’s shoulders a squeeze. Therese rolled his eyes at him but then smiled. Dannie really had been a good friend to her and he was the one good thing to come from Richard. 

On the drive to Mark’s house, Therese began to explain exactly what had happened earlier that day and Dannie listened. Their conversation continued even as they entered the party which seemed far too upbeat for the topic of discussion. They found a quiet corner in the kitchen where Dannie got a beer for Therese and one for himself. Therese sat by the door that was open and the cool air flowing in made her shiver but that night she didn’t mind. 

“I just, feel so selfish,” she shrugged, taking a sip of beer. A loud group of people passed through the door and the conversation died once more as they waited for them to pass.   
“You’re not selfish Therese. It’s a hard situation. I just hope it works out for you two in the end.” He took a long sip. “You know, ever since you met Carol you seem different.” He leaned his elbow on the table. “You make believe in love and all that stuff again,” he said, without looking at her. Therese smiled for the first time that evening at Dannie who seemed half embarrassed with himself. 

“Oh c’mon you always believed in love. You’re the biggest hopeless romantic I know,” she replied. “How’s your screenwriting going anyway?”

“Good!” I’m excited about the new assignment I got last week. I just hope I can get a job out of all this when college is over in a few months.” Dannie finished his beer in one gulp. 

“So what about you huh? I still think you should go for the job at the studio.”

“Maybe,” Therese replied. She had always been nervous about applying for the job. It had been her dream for a while but since Carol had come along she hadn’t thought about it much. Now she was starting to think maybe she should. There was a pause in their conversation as Dannie rolled his eyes and smiled at Therese. A loud commotion made Therese look up. She immediately spotted Richard coming down the hall, laughing with a few of his friends. 

“What is he doing here?” Therese said in half annoyance, half anger. 

“I swear he said he wasn’t coming,” Dannie said apologetically. Before he could stop her, Therese had soared out her seat, approaching Richard. Dannie had never seen her so decisive before. 

“How dare you!” she shouted at Richard. Her loud voice caught Richard’s attention and he turned to look at Therese. 

“How dare I what?” He was still smiling and it made Therese boil with anger. 

“Oh don’t give me that shit you know exactly what.” Tears were beginning to form and Therese cursed herself for getting upset. She wanted to punch him, to make him hurt and the look on his face only fuelled her anger. He didn’t care. Therese clenched her jaw and stormed off, straight through the front door. Her feet hit the pavement hard as she began to run back to campus, tears streaming down her face. 

Monday morning felt like a curse as Therese entered the art studio. Carol wasn’t there and she felt a pang of guilt and sadness. She thought about where Carol would be at that moment, maybe she was with Rindy, or Abby. Or maybe she was alone. Therese’s heart sank. Did she feel as alone as Therese felt in the room full of students? She felt uncertain and anxious, not knowing when she would see Carol again. What if Carol never wanted to see her again? Perhaps she was never important to her at all. Therese spun herself into a fit of anxiety as she tried to pay attention to their new lecturer, Andrew. His monotone voice droned on and if she hadn’t been so worried, she probably would have almost fallen asleep. Therese wanted to escape, to be free from his voice that dragged on and on. Everything felt wrong, somehow off. She felt as though she was stuck in a world in which Carol never existed. It didn’t seem right, that Carol wasn’t there. And she felt her body aching to leave but she couldn’t. It wasn’t until Andrew released her, released the entire class, that Therese able to stand and hurry out of the classroom, accidentally nudging a boy next to her. 

Therese paced through campus, taking short breaths as she tried to hold her emotions. She had fifteen minutes before her history test but it was the last thing on her mind as she stopped to lean against a pole. 

“Belivet!” An unfamiliar voice sounded her name in a strange way. She turned to face the owner of its voice. 

“Yes?” she said softly. 

“Yes hello, I’m Mr. Carter, the Dean of Students. You’re Therese Belivet?” He pronounced her name wrong. 

“I, yes,” she replied, swiftly growing nervous. 

“I assume you’ve heard about the distasteful rumour circulating around campus about Mrs. Aird,” he said uncomfortably. Therese supposed he would have blushed if his skin tone allowed it. She said nothing, feeling her mouth go dry. “I’m afraid we’ll have to request a meeting with you concerning the matters. It’s standard procedure, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” His face softened but Therese didn’t relax. “Wednesday 11am suit you?”

“Yes, of course.” Therese watched him turn and leave but she stayed, feeling as though her knees would give out on her. She wanted to collapse, to curl up into a ball. She wanted Carol, wanted to be held. But Carol wasn’t there and she forced her legs to move to class. Her legs moved of their own accord but her mind was far away. 

Her awareness finally came back to her when she saw a sheet of paper being placed in front of her. She stared down at the paper, looking at the questions which gave a lot of space underneath for writing. It was five minutes into the allotted time when Therese took a deep breath, pulling herself together enough to begin to write. She scribbled out the answer with a shaky hand. 

“Pencils down,” Mr, Steven’s voice boomed, shocking Therese from her concentration. The test papers were collected before Therese followed the flow of students out of the classroom. It was over, she could finally let herself go. She headed straight to a bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked like a child, she thought, eyeing her expression before washing her face in the basin. 

“Shit,” she breathed shakily, trying to calm herself. But she couldn’t. Even as she went back to her room she couldn’t calm herself. Her heart raced in her chest and all she wanted to do was call Carol. Her hand reached for her sketchbook instead, taking pencil to paper as she began to draw. 

 

It was Wednesday morning when Therese stepped into the Dean’s office. Her nerves had skyrocket over the last two days. She took a seat in the chair in front of Mr. Carter’s desk, eyeing the details around the room. Mr. Carter pulled out a few sheets of paper and Therese’s attention was drawn to it. What sort of questions would he ask?

“Therese, these are serious allegations,” he began. 

It was an hour later that Therese stepped out of his office, taking a deep breath. She had spent the last hour lying through her teeth. She had to protect Carol. For herself, she didn’t care a wit but Carol, she could never hurt. She had been informed that she could be called in for questioning later on but for now that was all. She thought of Carol, being called in for questioning. What kind of questions would they ask her, about Therese?

Therese was tidying her room late that night when she heard the creaking of her door being opened. When she looked up from the stack of books she was fixing, she saw Carol standing in the doorway. She wanted to immediately go to Carol, to embrace her and kiss her but the expression on her face held Therese back. To Therese she seemed almost cold, distant. 

“Carol?” Therese said after neither spoke. I missed you, she wanted to say but Carol began to speak then. 

“You had your interview?” Carol asked, leaning against the back of her door. Therese nodded. Carol looked down, nodding too. 

“I denied everything.” Therese insisted, taking a step closer to her. Everything within her was drawing her to Carol yet she only took one step. Carol looked up at her, seemingly more open now. Therese noticed then the lines of stress that had formed underneath her eyes and she wanted to kiss Carol. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Carol said, looking deeply into her eyes, making Therese want to cry. Of course she had to. Therese had so many questions and as if reading her mind, Carol continued in a matter-of-fact way. 

“I go on leave for a while, during the trial.” Carol took a step further into her room then, looking absent-mindedly at the nick knacks on Therese’s desk. “I might lose my job, I might lose-“ She clenched her jaw and Therese was immediately at her side, throwing her arms around her and Carol could only fall into her arms. A sob escaped her and Therese hated herself for it but Carol only hugged her more tightly. Therese realised she wouldn’t be in class for the rest of semester; there were only two months left of her degree. Two months were forever. 

“What happens, between you and me,” she dared herself to ask, pulling back to look at Carol. Her cheeks her shiny with wet. 

“It would be best if we didn’t see each other until after the trail. It could make things worse,” Carol said almost frankly. If it weren’t for the softness in her eyes, Therese would have though she hated her. Or at the very least, didn’t care anymore. 

“I love you,” Therese’s voice was weak as she squeezed Carol’s body, not wanting to let her go. 

“I love you too,” her low voice softened and Therese pulled Carol downwards, capturing her lips in a desperate embrace. Tears glistened down her cheeks and Carol tasted a saltiness in the kiss that Therese gave. But all too soon Carol pulled away, looking into Therese’s teary eyes. 

“I should go,” her head tilted to the side, unable to bare Therese’s gaze any longer. Carol wiped the wetness off her own lip before turning and leaving Therese’s dorm room. And Therese stood helplessly watching as Carol left. He feel were stuck, unable to move. And then Carol was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

Therese wasn’t sure of how much time had passed as she allowed the darkness of the room to settle around her. She didn’t even know what day it was. All she was aware of was that Carol was gone and suddenly the world didn’t seem appealing to her anymore. Life itself didn’t seem appealing. 

She tugged the covers of her blankets around her more tightly as a particularly painful thought surfaced in her mind. She felt so utterly hopeless. Her insides clenched painfully as another sob wracked her body. Therese held her breath as she tried to quiet her cries but it was no use; for as long as she thought of Carol, there would be no peace. Therese was scarcely aware of the light of dawn that began to seep through the edges of her curtain blinds. It was then that Therese finally forced herself to succumb to sleep. For sleep was far less then painful than being awake.

Monday morning arrived and Therese noted it had been four days since she had spoken to Carol; or anyone else for that matter. Most of that had been spent stowed away in bed and the only reason she left her dorm room was to use the bathroom or to purchase soda from the vending machine down the hall. She wasn’t able to stomach much else. Besides, she didn’t feel hungry. 

Therese had walked down the hall with the purpose of showering before class but had come back with a bottle of Coca-Cola instead. She couldn’t face the world. All she wanted to do was sleep it all away as though everything had been a terrible dream. Maybe then Carol would come back to her. 

On Wednesday Therese awoke from her slumber with a burning hunger. Instead of attending her classes that day she went down to the cafeteria to find herself some food before quickly retreating back to her room. Everyone around her seemed far too upbeat, far too loud and she couldn’t stand it. How it was that the world kept on going on, Therese didn’t know for she felt like her entire life was crumbling. By the time she made it back to her room Therese felt like crying again. She wondered how she possibly had any tears left to shed, suddenly losing any remains of her appetite.

Therese opened her laptop with the intention to study, for she had missed her classes, but instead she found herself watching a horror movie. After browsing through her options on Netflix she had decided on one that seemed utterly disgusting to her. She had never been one for horror movies but now it strangely appealed to her. At least nothing about it was romantic, nothing to remind her of what she had lost. Yes still half of her clung to the hope that Carol would return any moment. Besides, what were a few months?

On Saturday Dannie had come to visit her. She hadn’t heard from him in over a week but she didn’t want to bother him with her issues. She suddenly sobered when he entered her room as he inspected the mess that had slowly built up around her. 

“Did a bomb hit?” He joked in disbelief. He had come to see her because she hadn’t been at her classes all week. Therese certainly felt like a bomb had hit, as though she had been through a war and this was the aftermath. Therese didn’t reply and when Dannie saw Therese he realised something had happened. He had a pretty good idea of what. 

“Sorry I haven’t come to see you sooner, I’ve been crazy busy with study.” He looked at her inquisitively before coming to sit on her bed. Therese had the covers pulled up around her. Her hair was a mess but Therese wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. 

“She left,” she said simply, plainly. Her voice was void of emotion as if she was simply stating the time of day or what she had had for lunch. Though Dannie could see the sadness in her sunken eyes. She barely looked at him before closing her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry Therese.” He didn’t know what to say, his hand coming to her shoulder. That seemed to elicit a response in her and a tear escaped her eyes. She wiped it away quickly. He continued to talk but his voice faded out as Therese opened her eyes, staring blankly at the wall. She knew he was speaking to her but she couldn’t concentrate. 

“Why don’t you go take a shower, you smell pretty bad,” he smiled and Therese immediately surfaced from her daze, hitting him on the arm. 

“Thanks.” She stated and threw the sheets off her. 

“There’s the Therese I know.” He continued to smile as Therese sighed and climbed out of bed. She had been wearing the same clothes for the past week and now she felt somewhat embarrassed. She went to the communal bathroom to clean up, feeling the hot water rush over. It felt good against her numb body and she found herself standing there for a long time. For how long, she wasn’t sure but it was enough time to make her fingers and toes wrinkly. She dressed and dawdled back to her room. 

Her eyes moved over the floor of her room and her bed which had been made. Dannie handed her of container of fried rice and her stomach grumbled at the smell. 

“Oh Dannie, you didn’t have to do this.” She almost wanted to cry again, realising suddenly how she had been living since Carol left. It was as though she was looking at a different version of herself, one she didn’t recognise. She felt almost stupid and weak. Carol had left and what had she become? She set the food down on her desk and pulled out a chair. 

“Thank you,” she said earnestly, tilting her head to one side. 

“Hey, what are friends for?” He winked at her. “When was the last time you ate?” He watched as Therese began to tuck into the food. Therese only shrugged. “Jesus Therese you need to look after yourself. What would Carol think of all this?” Therese stopped eating then, gripping the plastic fork far too tightly. She almost wanted to speak poorly of her, but the thought immediately made her feel guilty and she softened. Dannie was right.

What was the point in hiding away? Carol was gone yet the world kept turning. Her life couldn’t end just because Carol wasn’t in it and the melodrama of it all made Therese burst out in a laugh. And then a piece of rice went down the wrong way and she began to cough. 

“What’s so funny?” Dannie was sitting on her bed. 

“Nothing,” she coughed again. “I’m just an idiot,” she shovelled some more food into her mouth. 

 

It was Monday morning and Therese had managed to pull herself out of bed. Had managed to change her clothes and drag herself to class, to the back of the room and pull out her sketchbook. Everything had gone back to how it was before Carol came into her life, yet it felt so different. But Therese managed, without Carol. She forced herself to go to every class, to pay attention. She even managed to make conversation with her classmates. She quickly learnt if she kept herself busy, she could manage. And so she flung herself into study and socialising. 

 

It had been more than two weeks since she had even spoken to Carol. She had been thoroughly lost in her schoolwork when Dannie invited her out for drinks with Emily. Dannie had thought it would be a good idea for her to get out of her stuffy room. Therese had agreed and they all went a bar that was within walking distance from campus. Therese had downed three drinks by the time they decided to move on to the next bar, which was more of a night club. With the courage of three drinks, Therese had agreed. She wasn’t the type of person who went clubbing but tonight was different. She didn’t feel like the same girl who she had been even a month ago. 

“Try this!” Emily glided a shot glass across the bar towards Therese. Emily’s eyes looked playful but Therese only winced at the clear liquid, lifting it to her mouth but not drinking. 

“One, two, three!” Emily shouted and lifted the shot glass to her lips and Therese followed, downing the strong liquor. Therese pulled a disgusted face at Emily. Her mouth stung but she liked it. 

“Can we get another one please,” Therese found herself saying to the waiter. 

“Look at you Therese!” Emily yelled over the loud music. 

And slowly, then all at once, Therese felt the warmth of the alcohol seeping through her limbs and numbing her in a way that made her forget about Carol, if only for tonight. She watched as Dannie and Emily danced together among the other sweaty bodies. They had tried to pull her onto the dance floor but she had refused, hanging around the bar for the most part. 

“What are you drinking?” An unfamiliar but certainly male voice spoke beside her. She turned to see him eyeing her in a way that disguised Therese but right now she didn’t care. 

“Tequila, straight.” She smiled, laughing to herself. She was anything but straight. 

“I like a girl who can drink,” he replied signalling to the waiter. He seemed impressed with her choice of drink and she suddenly found herself liking the attention. 

An hour later she was being roped onto the dance floor with the guy who she soon learnt was Phil. The only thing she was aware of was the colourful lights and the loud music beating in her ears and she liked it. In that moment she was free from Carol, free from the pain she felt. 

And then all too soon her happiness came crumbling down as she realised where she was, and the fact that Phil now had his arms around her. That she was dancing with this stranger, rather closely in fact, their bodies pressing together. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, like she was suffocating amongst the hot, sticky crowd of bodies. This wasn’t what she wanted. 

She pushed away, away from the dance floor and ran to the bathroom. She felt clammy and ill and suddenly she came face to face with a toilet bowl, throwing up everything she had drunk that night- and more. And when she had finally emptied her stomach, she rested her head on the toilet, not caring of and the germs it was crawling with. She stared at the graffiti on the wall of the toilet stall. She couldn’t make out what the words said nor did she care. Coming down from her high all she could think about was Carol and she began to weep. Her mascara ran down the side of her face. 

“Therese?” A voice called out. “Therese you in here?” It was Emily, and she sounded worried. Why should she care about me? She thought. 

“In here,” Therese replied, suddenly feeling sick again. 

“Open the door,” Emily insisted, but before Therese could even move, she threw up again. 

“Oh god, too much tequila ay?” Her voice was softer now. She sat down on the other side of the bathroom door, waiting for Therese to open it. After a long moment of silence she asked if Therese was okay. Therese only groaned in replied. 

“Open up then,” she finally stood as Therese fumbled around with the latch on the door. She was a mess, tears running down her face. 

“Oh poor baby come here,” she led Therese to the sink and cleaned up her face. Her softness felt like Carol. 

“Why do you care?” Therese’s voice was a whimper, slurred by alcohol. 

“What?” Emily smiled at her. “Of course I care, silly.” She stroked Therese’s cheek. “Come on,” she helped Therese out the door and back through the club. Dannie was waiting out the front with the smokers. 

“Where was she?” Dannie held Therese up on her other side as they walked back home. 

“In the toilets. The poor girl threw up her guts.” Therese mumbled something incoherently. And then almost instantaneously Therese found herself in her bed, the covers being thrown over her body. 

“Carol?” Her eyes were closed now as she began to drift to sleep. 

“Go to sleep darling.” A voice replied and Therese smiled. That night she dreamt of Carol’s lips on her own.


	15. Chapter 15

Therese awoke with a painfully dry mouth and a raging headache. She groaned, unwilling to open her eyes to the light seeping in through the curtain. After twenty minutes of feigning sleep, Therese peeled her eyes open to find a glass of water sitting on her bedside table. She sat up and downed the liquid before checking her phone. It was only eight in the morning and there were texts from Dannie asking where she was. They had been from the night before when she had disappeared. Therese strained to remember the details of what had happened as she crawled back under her covers. She felt awful. 

It wasn't until past midday that Therese decided she needed to fill her empty stomach. The memory of a toilet bowl had surfaced back to her and she knew that she had probably drunk a little too much. She had never been that drunk before and she was now regretting it. 

Therese decided on a selection of foods that appealed to her before finding a seat in the far corner of the cafeteria. It was far less busy than usual, being a Saturday, and Therese was grateful for the calm. She hungrily devoured her food before sending Dannie a text asking him what had happened last night. A few minutes later Dannie replied, making a joke about how the party girl has arisen from her slumber. He then asked her how she was feeling. 

"Like shit," she mumbled out loud before typing in those exact words. Therese guzzled some more water before going back to her room to doze the rest of her hangover off. As she drifted off to sleep, Therese had a flashback to the night before. 

"Go to sleep darling." Therese opened her eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling. She wondered if she had imaged it. Carol's voice rang in her head over and over until a tear rolled down her cheek and into her ear. She turned onto her side, gripping her pillow tightly as she forced herself not to cry any more. 

 

Monday morning came and went and for the next week Therese found herself going through the motions. She would spend her day surrounded by people she couldn't really call friends and then study until she couldn't see straight. Anything to keep her mind off Her. At least it would be good for her grades, she thought. 

Therese had been managing until Friday, when their results had been released for her history exam. Therese had failed. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she read the giant F written on the top of her paper. Underneath her eyes scanned a note to see Mr. Stevens after class. She didn't want to see Mr. Stevens. She didn't even want to be in the room as shame and embarrassment overcame her. She wanted to hide away from the world like she always did. But instead she waited, like everyone else did, until class was over and until she was the only student left in the room. 

Mr. Stevens had asked her if there was anything going on to distract her from her studies and Therese had been far too eager to tell him no. She knew there were rumours circulating and suddenly Therese despised Mr. Stevens for his question as though he was a spy, trying to pry any information he could out of her. She had promised to study better for next time and that it wouldn't happen again. Before she knew it she was back in her room, though her mind raced over and over as she paced in her room. 

“Hey!” Therese said when Dannie finally answered his phone. 

“Hey Therese what’s up?”

“Oh nothing,” she tried to sound calm. “I was just wondering if you and Em wanted to go out for drinks tonight.” Therese needed the distraction.

“Ah, sorry Therese, Emily and I have plans tonight to go see a movie. You’re welcome to come.”

“What movie?” She could tell by the tone of his voice that it wasn’t really an invitation. 

“Oh you know.” There was a pause as he tried to remember something. “That new romance movie that everyone keeps talking about. Em wanted to see it.”

“Sure it was Emily’s idea, was it?” She smiled teasingly, trying to sound like she was okay. She really didn’t want to bother Dannie with her problems. 

“You know me too well Belivet.” She detected a smile in his voice. 

“Well, you have fun Dannie. I’m not really in the mood for a movie tonight anyway.”

“Everything okay?” he asked. He had been asking her that a lot lately. Would she ever be okay, she wondered. 

“Everything’s fine,” she said a little too casually before saying goodbye. 

Her room filled with silence once more and it as in that moment Therese decided she needed to be anywhere but her dorm room. She grabbed her leather jacket and headed down to the bar.

 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Therese said to the person next to her. “I think I’m stupid.” Therese downed the rest of her beer and looked at the bottom of the glass. She had been rambling to the woman next to her about the events of the past few months. 

“No, I don’t think stupid is the right word,” she teased, and Therese frowned at her. “Naïve maybe.”

“Great. Just what I want to be.” Did Carol think she was naïve, she wondered. “I mean how could I have been so stupid? If I had been more careful maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe I..” She trailed off as her thoughts returned to Carol; to her lips against her own. She closed her eyes as she remembered the softness of Carol’s skin and the sighs she could elicit when she touched Carol’s waist or in the curve of her hip or on the inside of her thighs. 

“Maybe, you need to forget about her and let go a little,” she eyed Therese playfully, tugging Therese out of her seat and onto the dancefloor before she could protest. Not that she would protest, Therese thought. 

In the sea of bodies, Therese found herself dancing with the woman she had just met. Their bodies came together in rhythm and Therese didn’t mind. The alcohol in her system was working once again and she let Carol slip away from her thoughts. Her hands came around the woman’s waist, pulling them closer. The motion seemed to elicit a response from the woman and Therese smiled, turning around so she was facing away from her. She felt hands come around her own waist then and Therese began to rotate her hips against the woman. The warmth and softness of the form behind her suddenly reminded Therese of Carol. But now, if she closed her eyes, she could pretend. Pretend that is was indeed Carol’s hands that moved over her hips, Carol’s hands that roamed under her leather jacket and over her breasts. Therese moaned at the touch but the sound was lost amongst the deafening music. 

Lips brushed against the back of her neck, Carol’s lips, and Therese moaned again, feeling a warmth rush through her body. The hands found their way underneath her shirt and Therese found herself growing more aroused. She turned around to face the woman and their bodies came together, lips colliding with one another. Therese felt the woman’s hand slip into her jeans and she immediately broke the kiss. This is wrong, Therese thought. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it was Carol’s hand but the image was marred by the stranger before her. Therese had stopped dancing and the woman immediately removed her hand. 

"I can’t.” Therese said, her eyes still closed. 

“What’s wrong,” she shouted and her voice immediately sobered Therese. What was she doing? A panic rose within her and suddenly couldn’t breathe. This was all wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” Therese started towards the exit, leaving the woman behind. She didn’t look back to see if she was following. She needed to escape; suddenly it was vital to her.   
The cold air hit her face and she finally felt like she could breathe. She looked around at the empty street. It was late and Therese was suddenly shivering. She pulled her arms around her as she leant against the brick wall behind her. She was cold but she didn’t care. 

A group of loud, chattering people passed on the other side of the street and Therese watched them sadly. She felt like a fly on the wall, observing their happiness. Their laughter echoed down the street and it made her feel more alone than she had ever felt. And so she began to cry. 

“What’s wrong?” An unfamiliar voice startled Therese and she stepped away from the wall, looking up at the man in front her. She could barely make out his features through her tears. Therese felt an overwhelming sense of doom, taking a step backwards. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He held out a hand, taking a step forward. Her eyes were wide and she wanted to run. And then he stepped even close and she could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on his breath. Before she realised what was happening, Therese felt her back being pushed against the wall. A shrill scream echoed through the night and Therese realised that it was her own voice that had made the noise. Adrenaline coursed through her body as she balled her fist, hitting him hard in the face. And then her feet pushed her forward, running as fast as she could. 

Therese didn’t look back for fear he was right behind her. And so she ran, all the way back to campus and she didn’t stop running until she was at her dorm. She shakily slipped the key into the keyhole and quickly entered her room, locking the door behind her. 

“Fuck,” Therese breathed, slipping down against the back of the door. Her heart was racing and her hands shook. She could hardly believe what had just happened. She tried to calm her erratic heart beat but instead found herself breaking down in tears. 

 

The next morning Therese unlocked her door to let Dannie in. He had his sports bag with him. 

“Hey sorry we couldn’t hang last night. You wanna go shoot some hoops?” Therese only groaned in reply. “What happened to you last night?” He assessed her face and clothes, which were still on from last night. “And what happened to your hand?!” He looked at her swollen hand. Dried blood stained her knuckles. 

“You want the long story or the short one?” She went back to her bed. 

“The long one.”

Therese told Dannie the whole story and Dannie listened, only speaking when he was sure she was finished. 

“Jesus Therese, this isn’t like you.” He had gotten a cloth to wash the blood off her hand and Therese winced. “Being reckless isn’t going to solve your problems.” 

Dannie was right. Again. And she knew it. He stared at her pensively for a moment, his lips pressed in a thin line, as though he was thinking through something. He said nothing though and neither did Therese. They didn’t play basketball that day. Therese was far too hungover and her injured hand wouldn’t have allowed it anyway. 

 

Monday after classes Dannie had messaged her to meet him at the carpark. The message alone made her suspicious of his plans but she met up with him anyway. 

“What are you up to Dannie?” She questioned. Dannie smiled innocently. 

“We, are going to get you a job.” He opened the passenger side of his car and gestured for her to get in. 

“What? But I’m not ready-“

“Hey now didn’t someone always say that now is never the right time? Besides, I was already going to apply for jobs today. I really think you should do this for yourself, Therese.” He looked sincere yet concerned. Therese eyed him for a moment before sighing. 

“Fine.” She got in the car and Dannie smiled. “I don’t have my resume.”

“Way ahead of you.” Dannie opened the glove box and pulled out a pile of papers. 

“Did you seriously make me up a resume?” Therese scanned the sheet of paper. 

“Don’t worry, I’m good at these things, trust me.” Therese rolled her eyes, suddenly nervous. 

 

It had taken them the better half of the afternoon but Therese had managed to hand out all of the resumes Dannie had printed out for her. She had left the art studio until last because she was nervous about it. The lady at the front desk hadn’t been very kind to her and it immediately made her feel sick to the stomach. The woman who interviewed her, right on the spot, wasn’t much better and she had left the place feeling hopeless about it. Afterwards they went for ice-cream and Therese remembered the time she, Carol and Rindy had gone for ice-cream. 

“Hey cheer up. At least you scored that volunteer job at the school.” He nudged her. Therese sighed. 

“That’s true. I can’t believe I start tomorrow. They seemed really happy to have me.” 

“That’s because you’re an amazing artist.” Therese had to smile then, looking down at her feet. 

“Thanks Dannie.” 

 

It was three in the afternoon the next day that Therese found herself back at elementary school. She swallowed hard at all the children playfully running around or chattering. She hadn’t been around children since she was in boarding school. 

“Don’t let them sense your fear. They can smell it.” A voice spoke and Therese felt like she was either imagining it or she was in a dream. She turned to see a woman with dark hair next to her. She was smiling. 

“I’m joking,” she added, seeing Therese’s tense expression. “They’re lovely. Most of the time.”

“Oh I’m sure they are,” Therese smiled, not really knowing what to do. 

“You must be Therese? Our new girl?” The woman looked at her again. 

“Ah yes, that’s me.”

“I’m Gen. Don’t worry, I’ll help you get used to everything. It’s a cinch really.” Therese nodded, glad to have met one person in a crowd of strangers. 

The next three hours were spent with Gen showing her the ropes. It was an after school art club for children who showed talent. The children ranged from six to twelve and Therese was assigned to work with the middle aged children for the day. They had a project they were working on and Therese was to teach them techniques to help them with their work. She found herself enjoying it a lot, chatting to Gen who was next to her. 

And for the rest of the week, Therese spent her afternoons with the children. It became the perfect distraction, not only because she always had her hands full, but because Gen was great company. She didn’t have to talk about Carol and Gen made her laugh, something she hadn’t done since before Carol left. 

 

On Friday, Therese got a call from the art studio. She had the job and she started in two months. Therese was both excited and in shock. She almost screamed when she hung up the phone and Gen, who was next to her, gave her a questioning look. 

“I just got the job!” She exclaimed, looking a Gen. 

“What, the job? The one you were saying you weren’t gonna get?”

“Yes!” She nodded. “I have to call Dannie to tell him.” She got up from the art table to call him. Dannie had been just as excited as she was and insisted they go out for dinner to celebrate. Therese invited Gen along too. 

 

“To Therese!” Emily held up her glass and smiled. 

“To Dannie!” Therese replied. “Because without him I wouldn’t have the job in the first place.” They all clinked their glasses together. 

“Seriously Dannie, thank you. You’re the best friend I could ask for.” Therese smiled at him. 

“So are we gonna get this party started or what?” Gen said after a beat. 

“Oh I’m not so sure that’s a good idea after last week,” Therese said before giving Dannie a look. Dannie smiled back at her. And from that point on, Therese decided she wouldn’t be reckless anymore. No matter how much it killed her to be apart from Carol, she had her own life to live. And things were looking up, she thought, as she smiled at Gen and Emily and Dannie. 

“So, do we get to hear the story of how you did that to your hand?” Gen said, taking Therese’s hand in her own to inspect the bruised knuckles that were still a little swollen. 

“You should see the other guy.” Therese said, and they all laughed. What a difference a week can make, Therese thought.


	16. Chapter 16

Therese looked at the calendar and realised she still hadn’t turned it over to the next month, which had passed weeks ago. Therese calculated it had been six weeks since she had heard from Carol and it was taking its toll on her. She hadn’t really allowed herself to sit and think for weeks now. When Carol left her, six weeks ago, Therese hadn’t been able to take her off her mind. It had eaten away at her insides so much that Therese had forced herself to push it from her thoughts. And for two weeks she was able to do so, was able to forget about Carol, about how much it hurt, about whether Carol was okay. But now, as Therese sat down on her bed, she was unable to remove Carol from her thoughts. 

For the past week she had become good friends with Gen. She had told her everything about Carol and Gen had listened. But now she was alone, in her dorm room, thinking about Carol. What if she rode to Carol’s house? Her heart began to beat faster. Would she let her in? The overwhelming urge to see her seeped through her bones and it almost ached. And so she grasped her phone, scrolling down her lists of contacts before she realised she had deleted Carol’s number weeks ago. Therese felt a sudden loss before realising it was foolish of her. If Carol even picked up the phone, what would she say to her? Would Carol even want her? 

Therese remembered Gen telling her earlier that week that if Carol truly cared for her then she wouldn’t have left, wouldn’t have hurt her like that. Maybe she was right, Therese thought. Therese doubted if Carol even thought of her and the notion made her insides twinge. 

“I miss you. I miss you,” Therese said agonizingly, clinging to her pillow. Her own words rung in her head over and over as she lay on her back. She missed the sound of Carol’s voice in her ear. She missed the way her own name sounded on her lips and the way she smiled at her. Therese closed her eyes and allowed herself to think of Carol, if only for tonight. She remembered Carol’s lips, pressed against her own, how divine they had felt. Therese lifted her fingertips to her own lips and kissed them. She thought of Carol’s hands that once moved over her body and the feelings they had evoked within her feel. And Therese ran her hand over her own breast as Carol had once touched her. 

“Carol,” she breathed, as her hand moved lower, over her stomach and into her underwear. And slowly she recalled how Carol’s fingers felt inside her and her lips that moved over every inch of her body. 

“Carol.” She strained the name as her body reacted to her own touch, which brought release. And as soon as the moment was over, Therese clung fiercely to her pillow as she bit back tears. 

“Come back to me,” Therese said, as she nuzzled into her pillow. 

 

On Friday, Gen invited Therese out to dinner and she had agreed. They had decided on sushi and Therese hungrily eyed the plates that sluggishly progressed past her. 

“So. Any new love interests on the horizon?” Gen inquired. Therese immediately looked up from the conveyer belt. 

“Hmm? Me?” Therese was slightly surprised by the question. Gen nodded. “No,” Therese said with a half-smile. 

“Really? It’s been six weeks dude.” Gen grabbed a plate of sushi and then her chopsticks. 

“I know. I’m not looking for anyone right now.” She still saw herself as taken. 

“It’s been six weeks,” Gen repeated herself. “Are you sure you should be waiting on someone who might not even be there in the end of it all?” That hit Therese hard and she picked up a plate of sushi to distract herself. 

“Look, I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t hold onto something if you’re going to be hurt in the end.” Gen added before taking a bite of food. Therese followed, eating her sushi in silence as she thought over her words. 

It was past nine when they had finished their food. Both Therese and Gen lingered on the footpath. Gen’s house was in the opposite direction. And so after saying goodnight, Gen turned to leave. 

“Hey,” Therese called and Gen turned back to her. “Do you wanna go back to my dorm? I can show you my drawings you were asking about.”

“Sure.” Gen smiled and they leisurely walked to the campus. 

 

“I suddenly feel like I’m twenty years old and I’m sneaking into my girlfriends dorm to have sex,” Gen giggled. 

“Shh.” Therese smiled and unlocked her room. 

“Holy shit,” Gen uttered, looking at the drawings plastered on her walls. Therese went directly to put on some music and sit on her bed. “These are amazing.”

“Thanks,” Therese smiled. 

“Oooh la la, is this her?” Gen took a drawing down off the wall. It was the sketch she had done the night Carol stayed over. 

‘Ahhhh, yes.” Therese stood up too quickly to take it from her hands. But instead of putting it away, Therese only stared down at it. 

“No wonder you miss her.” She peered over Therese’s shoulder. 

“Maybe you are still twenty,” she teased, rolling her eyes before storing the drawing in her sketchbook. When Therese looked up, she saw Gen gazing at her and suddenly Therese was aware of how close they were. Therese found she couldn’t speak, lost in the moment as Gen’s lips came to her own. And in the instant that it happened, Therese seemed to snap out of her trance, pulling away too quickly. 

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Therese looked away, at anywhere but her. “I’m not-“

“I should go,” Gen interrupted and Therese only nodded. She didn’t look up until she heard the door open and then close. 

“Shit,” Therese swore, sitting on her bed. Somehow she knew that Gen had feelings for her. Perhaps she even thought she could have feelings in return but in the moment Gen had kissed her, Therese knew she wasn’t ready, and probably would never be. She felt childish for how she had dealt with it though, thinking of how Gen would be feeling. 

 

Therese almost dreaded going to work on Monday afternoon. Dannie had asked her why she was fidgeting so much but she had brushed it off. When she finally got to the elementary school, Gen seemed to ignore her, hanging around at the opposite end of the long table. 

“Excuse me, miss.” A small voice pulled her attention away from Gen. “Could you show me how to shade this?” Therese looked at the little girl beside her. She reminded her of Rindy and her heart both melted and ached. Therese settled in to show this girl everything she could until it seemed the girl was content to continue with her work. 

“Thank you,” the girl looked at her before going back to her drawing. Therese smiled warmly at her. 

“Hey, so, umm,” Gen’s voice was suddenly beside her. 

“Gen, hey.” She turned to see Gen sitting next to her. 

“Look.” She paused, and a blush crept onto her cheeks. “Could we just forget yesterday ever happened?” 

“Absolutely,” Therese let out a sigh in relief. 

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Gen smiled nervously. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she brushed it off. 

“So, friends?” 

“Friends,” Therese agreed with a nod. 

“So, did you apply for that art scholarship thingy?” Gen settled into her chair and began threading string through a piece of paper. There was going to be a school play and the club had to help out with decorations.

“Hmm? Oh that scholarship.” It hadn’t even passed her mind since Carol had mentioned it months ago. 

“I take that as a no. You should totally do it. After seeing your work I bet you’d totally get in.”

“Are applications even still open?” Therese considered the scholarship quickly before deciding against it. The scholarship was really a paid holiday to Europe to visit the universities there. She wanted to stay. What if Carol decided she wanted her back? 

“Yep!” Gen pulled out a folded up sheet of paper out of her handbag. It was awfully crumpled and Gen gave her an apologetic look. “It’s been in there a while,” she shrugged, smoothing out the paper. “Yep, you’ve still got what, four days?” She handed the form to Therese. 

“Thanks, I’ll think about it.” 

 

It wasn’t until a few days later when she was in a particularly upbeat mood that Therese’s eyes landed on the piece of paper Gen had given her. She stared at the paper, wondering if she could actually do it, if she could go to Europe. A sudden excitement and recklessness passed over her and she began to fill in the sheet. When she was finished, she marched straight down to administration and handed in the paper. If she got in, she could always decline the offer anyway. There was no harm in trying, she thought. 

 

Between studying for her finals and socialising with Gen, Therese felt herself coming out of her shell. On the weekends, Gen would take her to parties and she would actually enjoy herself. These weren’t Richard’s friends whom she disliked, with the exception of Dannie. These were quieter, kinder people who brought out her passion and inner thoughts. When she wasn’t partying or studying, Therese found herself messaging Gen, especially late at night when thoughts of Carol would surface. Gen would make her smile, or even laugh with the ridiculous things she came out with. 

 

During the final week of her entire college, Therese took leave from her volunteering to study. She even had to turn her phone off because Gen was far too distracting. 

It was Friday when Therese submitted her final piece of assessment. It felt strange to her, so final. But she also felt relief and fear all at the same time. She went back to her dorm room with a grin on her face. She had done it; or so she hoped. She then began to worry that she had failed. 

Therese looked up at her wall of drawings, at all the work and leisure she had found over the past two years, plastered on her walls. And unexpectedly she saw it in a different light, as if all of a sudden she was a different person. That she had been blind until this moment and now she could see. And in that moment she found herself pulling down all of her work from the past two years. She stored them in a box she found in her cupboard before looking back at her wall. It was empty, less cluttered. 

“Knock knock,” Dannie said as the door slid open. 

“Oh hey, sorry I haven’t messaged you, been so swamped with work.”

“Same dude. I’m so glad to have finally finished.” He looked at her wall then. “Already packing are we?” 

“No, I just got tired of seeing the same thing for so long.”

“Fair enough. Hey the whole class is going out for drinks. You coming?”

“Not tonight, I might have a quiet one in.” 

“Everything okay Therese?” He asked, and Therese thought for a moment. 

“Yeah. I think I am,” she gave him a smile. She was okay. She would be okay. 

“Glad to hear it Therese. I’ll leave you alone then,” he said before leaving. 

Therese then went to turn on her phone. There were six messages from Gen and one from an unknown number. Her heart raced as she opened it, her thoughts immediately leaping to Carol. 

It wasn’t Carol. And she let out a breath of air she had been holding in, only to gasp again. It was a message from the college announcing that she had been accepted for the scholarship. 

Could she actually do it? Could she go to Europe and leave everything here behind? Therese contemplated her responsibilities but found herself only coming up with one thing.   
Carol. 

Classes were finished, semester was over, but would carol take her back? She had heard nothing from Carol for over two months and she didn’t know when the court hearing would be over. 

“Damn.” Therese sat on her bed, looking at her phone screen. She only had a week to decide. 

 

On Monday afternoon, Therese broke the news to Gen, who was ecstatic for her. 

“I’m not sure if I’m going yet.” She tried to calm Gen down. She was like a child who had consumed too much sugar. 

“Wait what. Of course you’re going!” She grabbed Therese’s shoulders and almost shook her. “Wait, this is about that chick you’re hung up on, isn’t it.” Therese grimaced. 

“Therese.” She knew she was about to get a lecture. But to her surprise, Gen didn’t say another word on the subject. 

“Let me know if you change your mind, kiddo.” Therese felt there was more than one meaning behind her words, but she said nothing in reply. 

 

For the rest of the week Therese attended her break-up classes in which nobody did anything but chatter with their teachers and each other. They weren’t compulsory but Therese was feeling nostalgic and sentimental, having spent two years of her life on the campus. Most of the students would be packing up their dorm rooms during the week but Therese had held off. Graduation day wasn’t for another month and Therese had nowhere to stay. 

 

And slowly, Friday crept up on her, the day she was to leave. She stared at her phone, wishing for something that wouldn’t happen. She bit her lip nervously. Should she stay, or should she go? Her heart rate began to increase as it dawned on her. 

She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t keep waiting around for Carol to come back to her. She couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that for a dream that she was slowly giving up on. It had been over two months and she hadn’t heard a word from Carol. Maybe Carol didn’t even care for her anymore. But then Carol’s words echoed in her head.

I love you. 

Therese’s mind was in turmoil. Over and over she thought until she clenched her jaw, typing in a number on her phone. “I love you too,” Therese whispered to herself before the other person on the line picked up. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Gen.” Therese sounded nervous. 

“What’s up?”

“I changed my mind,” she tried to hide her excitement. There was a pause in the conversation as Gen’s mind ticked over. 

“Oh my god what!? Have you packed? You’ve got like two hours!”

“I know! I know! I just realised I need to do this. I have to do this,” Therese babbled. 

“Well stop talking and start packing! I’ll pick you up from yours right now.” Gen didn’t let her reply before she hung up the phone. Therese was positively reeling with energy as she began stuffing clothes into the dusty suitcase she had stashed away on her closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think I would give you Carol and Therese that easily did you? I know I know, you hate me. Anyway, there are four chapters left so we are getting close.


	17. Chapter 17

“You should call Dannie.” Gen and Therese were seated at the airport, waiting until it was time for Therese to board the plane. 

“Can’t you just tell him for me?” Therese hesitated, she didn’t want to have to explain her sudden impulse to fly half way across the globe. 

“No! He’s you’re best friend.”

“Fine.” Therese pulled out her phone and rang Dannie. After a few rings Dannie picked up. 

“Hey! You’ll never guess who-“

“Dannie, I don’t have time for chit chat sorry.” She interrupted him. “I didn’t tell you but I got the scholarship for the overseas trip to Europe. I mean I wasn’t going to go but I changed my mind at the last minute.” She bit her lip. 

“Wait, what?! Where are you?” There was the sound of muffled voices in the background. 

“I’m at the airport. I’m just about to leave. Gen made me tell you.”

“You can’t go.”

“What. Why?” Therese asked incredulously. 

“That’s what I was trying to tell you. You’ll never guess who I ran into on campus.”  
Therese’s heart stopped beating. 

“Dannie if this is some sort of prank.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the name out loud. 

“Therese I just had coffee with Carol. She just left to meet you at the airport.” Therese was speechless, almost dropping her phone. When Dannie realised she wasn’t going to speak, he continued. 

“Apparently she came to see you at your dorm but you weren’t there. I was at the café when I saw her.”

“Well,” Therese could hardly speak, her mouth dry. “What did she say?”

“We just talked about college, and you and your new job really. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her anything embarrassing.” 

“Thanks.” Somehow she didn’t feel any relief. “I’ll talk to you later Dannie.” 

“Good luck Therese.” She could hear the smile in his voice. And then Therese hung up the phone before looking up to see Gen staring at her. 

“What was that all about?” Gen asked with suspicion. 

“Carol’s coming to the airport right now,” Therese replied nervously. Her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t know what you should do!” Gen teased, and turned to look at the line of people now waiting to board the flight. Therese felt her entire body jittering with a nervous excitement. She had completely set her mind on going to Europe but now she was utterly confused. How could she possibly leave now?

 

“Last call for flight 352!” A woman shouted in Therese’s general direction and she felt her heart stammer harder in her chest. 

“Gen, Gen what do I do?” Her eyes were wide. 

“Whatever you feel is right. Go with you heart.” Therese thought over her words. How could she follow her heart when her heart was a complete mess? 

“Right. Go with my heart,” she nodded, feeling faint. Her eyes instinctively scanned the airport before returning to the flight attendant of the plane she was to board.

 

It was a quarter past seven and Carol stood watching as a plane began to take off from the runway. When she had stumbled upon Dannie on the college campus, he had insisted they go for coffee. Carol had hardly refused; perhaps he would know where Therese was. Instead, she had been told what Therese had been up to for the last few months and Carol found herself happily listening. 

There hadn’t been a day, or a moment for that matter, that Carol hadn’t thought of Therese. During the trial Carol had fallen into a loneliness. It was something she had never really felt until Therese. She had felt lonely before, but this was something beyond what she could bare. As soon as she had said goodbye to Therese over two months ago, Carol had regretted it, regretted every moment without her. 

Carol had been nervous as the trial came to a close. Would Therese even feel the same as she had two months ago? Perhaps she hated her now. The thought scared Carol. And now she stood in the airport, watching Therese’s plane disappear into the sky. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Carol muttered quietly under her breath. “I missed her.” Her heart sank down into her stomach as she stood dejectedly. Before she realised, the warmth of a tear slipped down her cheek. Even as the plane was far out of reach, Carol still stayed, watching the sky as if the plane would somehow turn around for her. 

“I lost her,” Carol whispered. The realisation set in that Therese had chosen Europe over her. Perhaps she did hate her, for leaving, or for not speaking to her for two months. 

“No you didn’t,” a familiar voice spoke and Carol immediately looked to her side, to the woman that stood across from her, to Therese. For a moment neither spoke as if they somehow conveyed a silent conversation. 

It was Therese who finally decided to move, willing herself to step forward. 

“I- thought you,” Carol began. 

“I couldn’t.” Neither seemed able to finish their sentences and Carol’s lips formed a small smile. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” a voice broke the moment and Therese realised Gen was still there. She flushed with half embarrassment before nodding. 

“I’ll talk later,” her eyes were wide as she looked at Gen. And then her gaze fell back to Carol, back to her grey eyes, to the deep lines of stress underneath them and to her red lips that she immediately found herself wanting to kiss. 

Therese was becoming overwhelmed at the sight of Carol. Despite the image of the woman burnt into her memory, it had not lived up to the reality of the woman standing in front of her. She had the overwhelming urge to touch Carol then. To breath her in, to taste her skin, to remember. Yet still she did not move, nor did Carol. 

“Dannie told me where you were. I thought you’d have taken the plane. It was an awfully big opportunity to miss.” Carol’s words stung Therese. She suddenly wondered if Carol even knew the pain she felt. How much she had hurt when she left, how much Carol meant to her. 

“Don’t say that,” she frowned. 

“The court case finished up yesterday,” Carol began in a matter-of-fact way, suddenly void of emotion. “There was a lack of evidence, they said. Harge tried to get full custody of Rindy, but our original arrangement stuck.” Carol smiled softly then. “They said I can go back to teaching next semester, if I want. Dannie tells me you start at that art studio next month. You have no idea how proud I am of you Therese.” She was smiling at her now and Therese felt her insides melt, her entire being beginning to crumble. 

“And how is Rindy?” She had missed the little girl, she had to admit. But she was also the reason Carol had left her; to fight for her daughter. She knew that if Carol had to choose between them, she would choose Rindy. 

“She’s well. She’s been living with Harge, but I visited as often as he allowed. I missed her dearly.” Her expression became detached for an instant before her attention surfaced back to Therese. And now it seemed that Carol was watching her very carefully.

“Anyway, Rindy will be living with me one week on one week off. It’s not ideal. But it’s the best we can do,” she paused for a moment, as if deciding to continue. “And I was wondering, if you’d like to come live with us. The house if awfully big for just the two of us.” 

The notion that she was dreaming suddenly crossed her mind. There had been many times Therese had wished and dreamed Carol’s return. Each time she had imagined what she would say, what she would do. But now, Therese couldn’t find any words to say. All of her thoughts jumbled together and she almost felt as though she would collapse. 

Gens words surfaced in her mind, go with you heart. 

The only thing she was sure of was that it would always be Carol. In her heart she knew that above everything, she wanted Carol. And in that instant, her eyes fell to her red lips and before she knew it, Therese had flown into Carol’s arms, her lips coming against the older woman’s messily. 

Therese was entirely unaware of the world around her as it appeared to dim and Carol fell into focus. She was aware only of Carol’s lips against her, her warm breath that mingled with her own and Carol’s arms that held her firmly at the small of her back. Her mind was swimming though she drew Carol closer, desperate to never let her go again. Her gesture was reciprocated as Carol squeezed her firmly. And then her lips softened as she kissed Carol’s chin delicately. 

“Am I dreaming?” She whispered, half to herself. She opened her eyes to see Carol’s lips turned upward in a soft smile

“No darling,” Carol replied affectionately and the butterflies in her stomach returned all at once. A perpetual warmth seeped through her entire being, along her limbs, and down into her bones and she knew she needed to be alone with Carol. 

“Take me home,” Therese uttered deeply, her words full of promise and longing.


	18. Chapter 18

“If I hadn’t of ran into Dannie you-“ They had just entered Carol’s house when Therese interrupted her with a passionate kiss. The rest of her words flowed out as a muffled moan and Therese remembered how much of an effect Carol had on her. 

Carol pulled back breathlessly to look at Therese who was now alight with desire. Carol herself was surprised at the effect Therese was having on her but before she could even ruminate any logical thought, Therese’s lips began to devour her own. Her hips pushed Carol backwards until they found purchase against the dining room table. Already her hands came to Carol’s thighs, pushing her skirt up her legs. Carol found her legs readily open up to Therese, pleading to feel more, for anything that Therese would give her. 

Carol perched herself on the edge of the wooden oak table as she pulled Therese in closer, her legs falling either side of the brunette’s hips. And Therese’s hand’s came to her body, remembering curve of her waist down to her hips, which when she squeezed, elicited a moan from Carol. Their bodies pressed close together but Therese managed to move her hands over Carol’s breasts, admiring their softness and the way Carol watched her as she squeezed them gently. And suddenly she needed more, to feel all of Carol. 

Frantically, Therese removed Carol’s shirt, her bra quickly following. She noticed the hitch in Carol’s breathing as the cool air hit her naked skin and Therese’s lips immediately kissed Carol, kissed her lips, her neck and down her chest. All the while Carol began to sway with each touch and each caress that Therese afforded her. She was fast unravelling in front of Therese, fast needing more from her and fast becoming desperate enough to voice those needs. 

“Fuck,” Carol swore as Therese’s lips captured an erect nipple. She suddenly felt she had not appreciated Carol’s breasts enough before now and she began to suckle devotedly, bringing her nipple into her mouth more. In turn, Carol arched into the contact needily. The motion sent a jolt of warmth down Therese’s already aroused body. 

“Therese,” she breathed and then moaned as she felt her other nipple being tugged gently. “Therese, I need you, oh fuck I need you.” Therese could barely believe the words that came out of Carol’s mouth, that Carol was begging her. Now wasn’t the time to be slow, Therese understood as she left Carol’s breast to look into her eyes. 

Slowly, Therese thrust her hips against Carol’s centre and Carol’s legs then held her there, thrusting back in return. Therese didn’t have to ask to know what Carol wanted. Her eyes told her everything and she couldn’t look away, couldn’t break her forceful gaze that held her there. Even as Carol rocked her hips back and forth against her, Therese eyes didn’t depart from her gaze. And Therese was lost, in Carol and in the moment of desire and reconnecting. 

Her hand moved down, in between their bodies and she immediately felt the warmth seeping from her. Her eyelids became heavy with desire as she tried to control herself. But it was useless as Carol grinded against her once, and then again, moaning deeply. 

“Please,” Carol groaned huskily and Therese decided that it was her favourite noise in the world, and it was all for her, only for her. 

“Say it again,” Therese teased, still watching Carol. Their lips brushed each other’s as Carol repeated the words, more desperately. Therese kissed her then, tasting the words on her mouth as she slipped her hand inside her underwear, her fingers immediately became coated in her arousal. 

“Therese.” Her name was drawn out on Carol’s lips as she ran her fingers up and down her wetness. And then slowly she entered her, feeling Carol shift so that she was pressed against her. Therese looked into her dark eyes, thrusting once, watching her reaction. Carol’s hands came to squeeze Therese’s shoulders, pleading for her to continue. And so she did, curling her fingers inside, building a rhythm. Her other hand came to her lower back to steady Carol as she began to rock back and forth against the table. 

“Therese,” her breaths came in pants as she moaned her name and before she could say any more, Therese’s lips claimed them. She felt it when Carol moaned into her mouth and when her body began to tense and when the hands on her shoulders pressed more feverishly. Her thumb began to move in circles over her most sensitive place and it was then that Therese felt legs wrap around her tightly. Her arms clung to Therese’s body as her entire being became rigid and a deep moan surfaced from within her. 

And her body trembled but still she didn’t let go. Even as her body relaxed, Carol did not let go, her face pressed against Therese’s neck. Therese held Carol with both her arms wrapped around her. She didn’t care if they were to never part from each other. Therese was content in Carol’s arms. 

But soon the position Carol was in became uncomfortable and she unwrapped her legs from around Therese, pulling back to look at her. Somehow Therese was different from the girl she had met months ago. She had somehow grown into a women and Carol couldn’t quite put her finger on exactly what it was. 

“My angel,” Carol spoke softly, lifting a hand to her cheek before gently kissing her. “Let’s go to bed darling.” Carol slipped off the table before leading Therese to the bedroom, their bedroom. The thought suddenly occurred to her that this was where she would be living from now on. She was finally home and as she felt emotion well up within her,  
Therese turned to Carol and kissed her again, tenderly, as though she precious and easily breakable. 

“I love you,” Therese said when she saw Carol’s curious expression. “I love you,” she said again, so softly as though if she said it loudly it would disappear somehow. They were words for Carol, only for Carol. 

“I love you too,” Carol said, looking deeply into her eyes. “Oh darling I missed you.” She pulled back the covers of her bed and sat down, gesturing for Therese to join her. Therese eagerly climbed in next to her, immediately feeling the warmth of Carol’s body so close to her own. When they had both settled into the bed, Therese finally spoke. 

“I missed you so much,” she said, letting her fingers run through Carol’s blonde hair. There was a pain in her voice which did not go unnoticed by Carol. And so Carol put her arm around Therese, drawing her in closer until all of the space in between them disappeared. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, kissing Therese’s forehead affectionately. “I’ll never leave you again.” Carol’s eyes focused on Therese with an intensity that made her heart begin to race again. And Therese couldn’t speak, couldn’t bring herself to say a word for fear of breaking. A tear welled in her eye as she remembered how she had felt without Carol. And still her eyes never left Carol’s. 

“Oh sweetie,” her thumb brushed over Therese’s cheek as the tear finally fell. “I promise you,” she said sternly. Therese could see Carol’s eyes shining with tears now and the sight made Therese want to cry even more. 

“It hurt so much when you left. I didn’t know what to do. I felt so stupid and so selfish for it all and you were gone,” Therese began to mumble through tears that fell freely. She felt foolish for being upset but she couldn’t help it. Carol wrapped her arms tightly around her as Therese sobbed quietly. And Carol didn’t try to stop the tears, she only held her. She held her until slowly the tears stopped and her breathing returned to normal. 

“I’m sorry,” Therese said finally after a long silence.

“Do you know how much I love you Therese?” Her fingers ran through Therese’s hair. Therese pulled away to look at her then. Her hand came to the younger women’s cheek before placing a delicate kiss there. Therese closed her eyes to the touch. 

“My darling, do you?” She said affectionately, rolling Therese onto her back before kissing her lips softly. Therese sighed against her mouth before a small smile played on her lips. 

“Do you want me to show you how much I love you, Therese?” Her lips brushed Therese’s nose and she couldn’t help but smile widely. She then nodded. 

And slowly, Carol showed her the ways in which she loved her. With her lips and with her hands, Carol took her time, savouring every moment and every sigh she elicited from the woman below her. There was no rush then; they had endless time. With her lips, she loved Therese with delicate kisses which spoke of how she adored her. With her hands, she held Therese or pulled her closer when she called her name. With each stroke of her fingers she communicated her love, and with each touch was a promise, to always love her, to be with her, forever and always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a wild ride this has been! I have never written so much as I have so far this year. ANYWAY, the next chapter will be the final chapter for this fic. I wasn't going to post another after this bit I think I'd like to resolve a few things


	19. Chapter 19

“Mmm Therese,” Carol rasped, her eyes opening to the morning light. “We really should get out of this bed. Do things, like eat and see the sunlight.” Carol smiled as she felt Therese’s lips brush her collarbone. 

“But there’s so many more interesting things right here in this bed,” she replied, moving so she was hovering above Carol. “Have I told you how happy I am? Right here, in your arms.” At those words, Carol snaked her fingertips around her waist. “Right here on top of you,” Therese said playfully as she moved her hips against Carol’s centre. The motion elicited a sigh from the woman below her. 

“Therese, how ever will we continue this forever if we’re starving?” Carol slipped a thigh between hers as she spoke and immediately felt Therese’s hips begin to rock gently. Therese only moaned in reply. She didn’t want to leave the bed but she also hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before. Her lips immediately came to Carol’s throat as her thigh pressed firmly against the woman’s sex. The feel of Carol’s arousal slick against her skin made her moan. 

“Therese,” she groaned languidly before moving so she was on top. Her fingers came to hold Therese’s hands above her head. The sudden shift in positions made Therese’s body flood with excitement. 

“Carol,” she breathed, trying futilely to move her body against Carol. The movement almost made Carol lose her resolve altogether. 

“Food.” She placed a soft kiss on Therese’s cheek, seemingly unable to pry herself from the woman below her. 

“Carol,” she whimpered desperately, suddenly staring into blue eyes that made her heart melt. And then as if realising how desperate she sounded, Therese began to giggle. “I’m sorry,” she blushed. “I’ve never,” her words trailed off with embarrassment. Carol saw her disdain and loosened her grip, letting her hand slip down Therese’s arm to stroke her cheek. 

“Never what?” 

“Never felt like this,” she said more firmly. Her eyes did not leave Carol’s. 

“Like what?” A small smile began to play on her lips. Therese was blushing profusely now. She could barely fathom the words let alone say them out loud. 

“Like I want you. All of the time. Like I never want to…” she trailed off again, unable to look Carol in the eyes. 

“Therese,” her voice was like honey and Therese felt more warmth pooling below her stomach. When she met Carol’s gaze she saw the desire in her eyes. “The feeling’s mutual,” she said finally before gracefully jumping up and walking out of the room. 

Therese lay flat on the mattress as she stared at the pale ceiling of Carol’s house. Their house. This was her home now; their home. The thought made Therese smile with a warmth that filled her stomach and spread down to her toes. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Overcome with happiness, Therese wrapped the blankets around herself, rolling from side to side. And then she forced herself to take a deep breath before she unravelled herself from the sheets. 

With a huff, Therese went to the bathroom and decided to shower. She had thoughtfully brought in her suitcase full of clothes intended for the trip overseas. After assessing what she had, Therese decided to forgo actual clothing and put on a large shirt she usually wore to bed and a clean pair of underwear. Besides, Carol was probably just going to tear it from her body later anyway. At that thought, Therese made her way down the hall to the kitchen. She saw Carol had already made them eggs. 

“You should have let me cook for once,” she said, pulling Carol from her concentration. “I make a pretty good omelette you know.” She boasted. 

“I don’t like omelettes.” Carol said almost apologetically and Therese laughed. “What?” She put a hand on her hip, playfully staring at the younger woman. 

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “It’s just the one thing I can make you don’t like.” 

“I can think of a few things you make that I like,” she raised an eyebrow as her eyes raked over Therese’s attire, or lack thereof. Therese felt her temperature rise suddenly as a blush settled on her cheeks once more. That seemed to make Carol smile again. 

“Like what?” Therese feigned ignorance. 

“Like eating your breakfast,” Carol grabbed their plates as if to distract herself form Therese’s heated gaze. They sat at the table, on one corner as to sit as close as possible. Underneath their legs pressed together and it made Therese smile. And so they sat in silence as they ate and Therese quickly discovered that she was very hungry. 

“So,” Carol began after they had finished their food. “You’ve had a little time to think now. What do you think about my offer?” Carol seemed nervous as she pulled out a cigarette.   
“I mean you don’t have to right away if you need-“

“Yes. I want to,” she cut Carol off. She was sure it was what she wanted. Nothing felt so right as living with Carol, with Rindy. Suddenly Carol smiled as she breathed out a puff of smoke. And then Therese smiled too. “Should we pick up my stuff today? I mean I don’t have much. Just a bunch of drawings really.”

“We could frame them,” Carol replied casually and the words made Therese feel warm inside once more. Therese knew her drawings weren’t worth framing and she brushed her words aside. 

“I mean it.” Carol sat forward, looking at Therese closely. “I would like to frame some of them. That is if you want to, of course.” 

“Well,” Therese’s dimples appeared as she looked at Carol shyly. “I’d like that.” And it was in that moment that Therese knew this would be home to her. Carol would be home. In all her life she had never felt truly at home. Not in any place or in any person. But now, Therese could see her life stretched out before her with Carol by her side to greet her every morning and every night. A tear pricked in her eye but Carol gently kissed it away as it fell. 

“My love, my angel,” Carol whispered tenderly before softly peppering her face with kisses. And then Therese was smiling against Carol’s lips.


End file.
